“Monday, Oct. 1, 2007: From my window seat on an airplane flying from Rome to Athens, I can see lands and seas that I cannot identify. I am in no way concerned about this, and I can barely sit still with excitement to get out and explore it all. Back in Kansas, my friends are slapping at alarm clock snooze buttons, and I am halfway across the world overlooking clouds and islands and mountain ranges.”

This excerpt from my journal is the perfect snapshot of my fall 2007 study abroad experience. I spent a semester using Paderno del Grappa, Italy, as a home-base while I traveled to France, Greece, Spain, the Netherlands, and all over Italy.

The three months I spent in Europe were the best of my life. I enjoyed them for more than just the beautiful landscapes I was surrounded by. I was free from the stresses of everyday life, traveling every weekend and waking up every morning excited about the new things I would see that day. From famous sites like the ancient ruins in Rome to tiny corner stores filled with foreign goodies, I approached everything with an enthusiasm to learn more about the world.

After visiting art museums and eating crêpes in Paris, I flew back to the United States on a snowy night in mid-December. I was excited during the first couple days catching up with family and friends, but then found myself wondering, “What do I do now?” Study abroad orientations prepare you for culture shock and the difficulties of adjusting to life in a new country. What they don’t prepare you for is coming back home. This was an unexpected difficulty for me.

If I had to pin down the biggest influence that going abroad has had on my life, it would be that it made me restless. Maybe I read too many Jack Kerouac novels in high school that glamorized life in transit. But coming back to the United States was depressing. I left Italy’s winding cobblestone streets and crowded trains for a frost-bitten Kansas winter and hours of homework every night. The combination of brutal cold and the stresses of school took its toll on me, and I began to lose all the enthusiasm for life I had built up over the previous months. I found myself huddling in front of my space heater and wishing I had stayed in Italy.

You can see my descent by looking through my journal. Eight posts in October, seven posts in November, seven in December, four in January. One post in February. One post in March. No posts in April. The inspiration to write had come easily in the fall. The thoughts and words flowed through my pen as I hastily scribbled through the pages of my moleskin notebook. But through winter and spring, I was speechless.

My post from May 21, 2008, sums it up: “I haven’t written here in quite a long time. I haven’t written anywhere for quite a long time. I would like to say this is because I have been busy, but that wouldn’t be true. I haven’t written because I haven’t had anything to write about.”

Once the spring semester ended, I finally got some time to think about the downward spiral I had gone through. I realized that it wasn’t being in Kansas that depressed me. I love being in Lawrence and being with all the friends I’ve made here. The real culprit was the stationary lifestyle I had settled into. I just needed to get out and travel.

So I did. Because I wasn’t able to travel to foreign countries, I decided to travel around the country I live in. My first trip out of Kansas was with my girlfriend to Dallas for a concert. I spent three days driving around sweating in the Texas heat because the air conditioning in my car doesn’t work. This might not sound like a good way to spend a weekend, but it was just what I needed to get out of my funk.

A week later, I took a flight to Denver to visit my two older sisters. I had forgotten how much I enjoy being in airports, seeing business people with briefcases hurry past or loved ones reuniting. Everyone there has somewhere to go and something to do, and I like being included in that group. In Denver, I spent an entire day wandering through the downtown area alone. I wasn’t seeing any world-famous landmarks, but I was breaking from my daily routine, seeing new things and missing out on less of the world.

Traveling isn’t just about seeing new places and meeting new people. It’s about growing as a person. It’s about being in unfamiliar situations and not being scared, knowing I will be fine. After my semester in Europe, I gained a sense of independence that will stay with me for the rest of my life. It’s empowering, and it’s something I will never be able to give up.