“Did you know your cooking causes cancer?” “I would, but I read somewhere that getting you your purse has been linked to cancer.” “I can't, I think I'm coming down with armpit cancer.”
This is what I heard all weekend long.
Doing too much homework, listening to hip-hop music, discussing politics — all cancer-causing, according to my friends. The claims, though varying in degree of creativity, were in protest to a verbal blunder that I fear will forever discredit me.
Tragically, considering I want to be a journalist, all too often when I source information, all my memory serves up is, “I read somewhere once.”
That’s exactly how I know (“know”) that deodorant’s dangerous ingredients are a big deal. At least that’s what I digested from an article I read last year about aluminum salts in antiperspirants.
I am certain that my new deodorant is about the most exciting thing that’s happened to me all week. Although most deodorants contain a fine-print list of chemicals so long it hardly fits on the stick, my “Body Crystal” is made entirely of mineral salts.
“It’s one ingredient,” I exultantly reported to my friends.
“What’s wrong with my multi-ingredient deodorant?” one friend asked, while the others awaited my answer with equally dispassionate expressions.
And then I did something no self-respecting environmentalist, journalist or cool person should ever take. Quickly and without censoring my strong-willed yet unjustified defiance, I said something I thought I left behind in elementary school.
“It’s going to give you cancer.”
I succumbed to the temptation of hyperbole. And lying, for all I knew. I was filled with instant regret, knowing that with that unedited slip of the brain, the greatest deodorant that ever was took a backseat to my foolishness.
I was surprised, and guilt-stricken, to find that indeed aluminum salts in antiperspirants could be a major player in breast cancer in women. Like other personal care products, the debate isn't whether the chemicals are dangerous but rather how much is safe to put in your body over time.
Although deodorants use fragrances and chemicals to mask and to kill your funk, aluminum compounds in antiperspirants prevent sweat and toxins from leaving the body.
Mineral salts in the crystal form a layer so odor-causing bacteria can't form. The salts form a compound called “alum,” which is the ingredient you'll read on the label, that contains a natural aluminum salt, but it doesn't pose the health threats of aluminum compounds in antiperspirants. In fact, the Environmental Working Group rated this deodorant No. 1 in a safety assessment test.
The Body Crystal looks just like a clear, solid deodorant. It's dry, and nothing in it keeps it moist, so you dip it in water before putting it on. I bought mine for about $6, which is twice as much as the Secret deodorant I've used since puberty. Your deodorant's secret may be its health risks, and playing it safe is worth a few cents a day.
The Body Crystal is the most effective deodorant I’ve ever owned.
And that is the hyperbolic statement I plan to stick to when singing its praises.
— English is an Overland Park junior in journalism and economics.

Mallot and Haworth Halls, two of the larger ...
1 comment
Mallot and Haworth Halls, already two of the ...
1 comment
It was the symmetry of this sidewalk that ...
1 comment
Texting while driving is the cause of many ...
1 comment
Comments
juniper08 (anonymous) says...
Great article. i often get annoyed when I see or hear people mentioning all the horrors of our modern world and how they're linked to cancer. No doubt that some things do, it's all a matter of "how much is safe to put in your body over time."
October 15, 2008 at 1:10 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
mhpope (anonymous) says...
This column reminded me of a quote from the late George Carlin: "Saliva causes cancer, but only if swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time." Way to put yourself out there by digging into your personal life to pull out this gem related to your feminie hygeine. Always a pleasure to read your work.
October 15, 2008 at 4:20 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
sonya (anonymous) says...
Haha, thank you for saying that. Ask Lauren, everyday this week I was ready to re-write it because I didn't exactly want anyone else to know this true story. I wish I made commission on this deodorant.
Sonya
October 16, 2008 at 5:06 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Ben (anonymous) says...
So many petty self-aggrandizing statements to make, so little time.
October 17, 2008 at 3:04 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )