Boy, I tell ya what. I’ve been living in this here state for nigh on 20 years, and I still can’t get used to this wacky weather! I mean, one day it’s bright and cheery, and the next day it’s cold and dreary — just like my wife! It never seems to be able to make up its mind — also just like my wife! In fact, there are nearly 1,000 ways in which Kansas weather is similar to my wife. I would list them all, and to hilarious effect, but I only have so much space. (Editor’s note: Alex does not actually have a wife.)
The weather around here changes so often that a few weeks ago, when my son and I made a snowman, we dressed it in a Hawaiian shirt! Hah! Little Timmy has such a great sense of humor. I even put some sunblock on its button nose. Have fun at the beach, Frosty! Because tomorrow it’s 80 degrees and sunny! (Editor’s note: Alex also does not actually have a son. Especially not one named Little Timmy.)
The best part about Kansas’ ever-changing weather is that jokes about it are always fresh and truly side-splitting. It unites people through the miracle of comedy. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve been walking across campus in a hailstorm or heatwave (or both at the same time — ha!) when a total stranger sidles up to me and says “Kansas weather, huh?” I can’t help but bust out laughing! It’s so true! Such keen observations never ever get old.
And another thing — whatever happened to global warming, am I right? Sorry, Al Gore, but the only thing “Inconvenient” about this “Truth” is that I have to wear a winter coat to class in the middle of April! Myth busted!
Most of us realize that the ever-fluctuating weather is simply a flowing fount of comedy gold, bestowed upon us from above by a God or a cabal of gods who simply want us to laugh at the same thing over and over for years on end. There are some people, however, who don’t find this very amusing. Those people are lame. They whine and complain, and not in a funny way. Some of them are so irritated, you’d think they were injected with werewolf serum. It wouldn’t be surprising, because werewolves have terrible senses of humor. Just like my wife!
The rest of us, however, appreciate the value in making what should be a trite and pointless remark into the stuff of classic jokes and comic strips. So if you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes — somebody will make you laugh about it.
— Nichols is an Overland Park sophomore in creative writing.
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Nichols: What’s funnier than a Kansas weather joke?
That was so bad it was funny. Which I think was the point, so kudos for the laughs ;)
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