Book Review: 'Will Marry for Food, Sex, and Laundry'

Thursday, April 16, 2009

I don’t deem myself a desirable wife: I can’t cook, I’d rather buy new clothes than clean previous ones, and I don’t seem to possess a maternal bone in my body. So imagine my optimism when I decided to read the latest relationship how-to book: Will Marry for Food, Sex, and Laundry by Simon Oaks. Oaks attempts to reassure women of their marrying ability by twisting their perspectives into men’s interpretations. For example, jealous and nagging women should implement simple communicating, nurturing and ego-boosting skills in order to satisfy men’s Neanderthal needs.

Over the course of the 200-paged, politically incorrect marriage manual, I learned how to differentiate between cuts of cow in order to feed my meat-loving man, how to amp up the sexy vibe by committing to his sexual fantasies, and how to assign “man chores” for him to feel empowered by accomplishing an easy household task.

Although the aforementioned are obviously worthwhile lessons in life, I’m sad to say I wasn’t enlightened by the guidelines guaranteed to enhance my man-capturing skills. There are a thousand different humiliating and heartbreaking ways to screw up a relationship, much less a marriage, and I don’t need a book to tell me that.

Letter to the Editor: Sex is sacred

So what does abstinence in a committed relationship look like? For my ...

/news/2007/may/01/letter_ed/

Castle: Marriage should be between a man ...

People seem to be focused on whether same-sex couples should be allowed ...

/news/2011/mar/03/castle-marriage-should-be-between-man-and-woman/

To marry or not to marry?

Most college students are saying “I don’t” instead of “I do,” but ...

/news/2011/aug/25/college-marriage/

Students decide sex can wait

Religion and finding that special someone are some of the reasons young ...

/news/2008/jul/15/abstinence/

Bledowski: Marriage still popular despite decline

Individuals smarter about marriage than in the past.

/news/2010/dec/05/bledowski-marriage-still-popular-despite-decline/

Kansas in Heat: No more bad advice

Relationship researcher Mike Anderson gives his plan to tackle the sticky world ...

/news/2009/aug/20/kansas_heat_advice/

Legalizing Love: the state of same-sex marriage ...

A look at the battle for marriage equality.

/news/2011/dec/08/legalizing-love/

Married young

/news/2005/mar/03/jayplay_speak_marriage/

Jayhawk Dirty Talk

This week Peter helps a woman with a scheduling problem.

/news/2008/jul/21/jayhawk_dirty_talk/

Religions relate pre-marital sex with emotional emptiness

Islam, Catholicism and Judaism may have different doctrine, but all agree on ...

/news/2008/jul/18/religion/

Gay marriage divides on religious lines

/news/2005/feb/03/opinion_faceoff_archer/

Sexually (inter)Active: What is the purpose of ...

Three panelists weigh in on how "roles" continue to define relationships.

/news/2010/jan/29/sexually-interactive/

Who's not having it

Many students choose to remain abstinent for differing reasons.

/news/2010/nov/18/whos-not-having-it/

Sexual healing

Sex isn’t just about the finish, it can also have many long-term ...

/news/2010/apr/01/sexual-healing/

Buser: Meet the 'man-child'

Boys just don't want to grow up.

/news/2009/feb/08/buser_meet_manchild/

Rules of attraction

The science behind what causes and keeps our attention

/news/2008/may/08/rules_attraction/

Cartledge: Double standard persists between men and ...

Why is it that women who enjoy sex are considered sluts, and ...

/news/2009/jan/26/cartledge_double/

Cheating loves in the 21st century

A battle of lust, love and loyalty in defining cheating.

/news/2010/mar/11/cheating-loves-21st-century/

Miyakawa: College teaches lessons in mixing career ...

For women, it can be difficult to balance work and family life.

/news/2009/may/05/miyakawa_college/

Rules of engagement

A lesson in international relations.

/news/2009/sep/03/internationaldating/

The Lost Art of Dating

/news/2006/mar/16/Feature/

Christian mother vocalizes her joy of sex.

Devoted mother shares her joys of sex and gives tips on how ...

/news/2006/dec/11/sex/

Faking it lets women live up to ...

Women discuss their secrets to faking an orgasm.

/news/2007/sep/21/faking_it/

The more the merrier

/news/2005/feb/24/jayplay_features_more/

Kansas in Heat: Dare to have intense ...

Relationship researcher Mike Anderson tackles the sticky world of relationship advice, one ...

/news/2010/apr/29/kansas-heat/

Was Harry right?

Testing whether men and women can be just friends

/news/2009/mar/05/was_harry_right/

Third time's a charm

One Jayplay writer's experience watching her mom find "the one" and another ...

/news/2012/jan/25/third-times/

Visiting attorneys debate gay marriage at School ...

Panelists at "Same-Sex Marriage: Diverging Perspectives" offered their opinions on whether same-sex ...

/news/2011/sep/27/visiting-attorneys-debate-gay-marriage-school-law-/

Bledowski: Too much of a good thing

Recent high-profile incidents have brought addiction to sex to light.

/news/2010/mar/24/bledowski-too/

Smith: Gender equality works both ways

In the war of the roses, men are taught to treat women ...

/news/2007/nov/06/smith/

Blakeborough: A proposed end to “slut”

Sex is necessary for life, so why does it get such a ...

/news/2010/nov/18/blakeborough-proposed-end-slut/

Sex Spoofs

/news/2005/may/05/jayplay_contact_myths/

Matney: Overcome insecurities to improve relationship

Failures to communicate don't have to be written off as "nature vs. ...

/news/2010/apr/02/matney-overcome/

A marriage story

A KU couple faces the burdens and the bliss of married life

/news/2008/jan/17/marriage_story/

Kansas in heat: woman-on-top position

Sometimes the standbys work the best.

/news/2009/sep/10/kansas_heat/

Different cultures, different relationship standards

What’s seen as taboo in other countries might not be viewed the ...

/news/2010/nov/18/different-cultures-different-relationship-standard/

Kansas in heat: The pitfalls of pornography

Relationship researcher Mike Anderson tackles the sticky world of relationship advice, one ...

/news/2009/nov/12/kansas-heat-pitfalls-pornography/

Kansas votes yes

/news/2005/apr/06/news_lawrence_election/

Castle: Anti-same-sex marriage debater ignores research

Same-sex parents should be given same rights as other-sex parents if the ...

/news/2011/oct/04/anti-same-sex-marriage-debater/

Kansas in heat: getting fit for sex

Relationship researcher Mike Anderson tackles the sticky world of relationship advice.