Thursday, April 23, 2009
They are the sharks in the sea of people.
You can spot them in people-laden places, looking for the person who shows weakness. If you make eye contact or aren’t on your cell phone, they will attack you with their spiel. The spiel is what they want you to do, which can vary from voting for a Student Senate representative to joining the rowing team to joining Hara Krishna.
Hungry as wolves: Avoid eye contact if you don’t want your day to be disrupted by campus hander-outers.
Odds are that don’t want to be affronted by these people, why else would they need to recruit in the first place?
Max Sprague, Overland Park senior, says he is a master in the art of avoidance. He tells the Student Senate “hassler”’ that he already voted. He gives the same spiel to anyone else who bothers him between classes.
Below are some tactics to avoid these people, or at least get them off your back as quickly as possible.
The one-person call. Open your cell phone and talk into it. This will show everyone you aren’t interested whatsoever in the world around you. If you are female, you can enhance this tactic by wearing bug-eyed sunglasses, which is perhaps the pinnacle of being anti-social.
Appear drunk or high. Walk unsteadily and make your eyes into slits. Most “hasslers” will ignore you because they won’t want to bring in “the wrong kind of person.” If the hander-outers do talk to you, ask them or if they have any food. If they say no and go back into their spiel, say, “No seriously, do you have any food?” If they say yes, then you will get some food.
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