Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Stereotypes about the differences between men and women abound in our society. Some are so prevalent that it’s easy to forget how wrong they may be and how they can affect our relationships. Often, while fighting to reduce female stereotypes, we overlook those about men.
Stereotype No. 1: Guys don’t cry. They have just as many feelings as girls. Sure, there are guys who are truly lacking in the emotional realm, but some girls are like that too. Guys are born with the same fears as girls, but as they develop, guys are told from a variety of sources that they aren’t supposed to have — or at least show — emotion. If magazine ads full of skinny girls can take the blame for the rise of anorexia, then surely the media can be said to affect the psychology of males.
But assuming men are less sensitive is one of the more dangerous beliefs to hold. I’ve seen girls who are rather abusive to their partners, teasing and putting them down constantly because the girls simply don’t realize they’re doing anything wrong. After all, if a guy doesn’t have feelings, then why bother not hurting them?
Stereotype No. 2: Guys always forget anniversaries. We see this stereotype as the plot of run-of-the-mill sitcoms practically every day. But guys are not idiots. They can remember that the Porsche 911 was first produced in1963; that Apollo 13 launched on April 11, 1970; and that “Wrath of the Lich King” was released on November 13, 2008. I’ve often wondered why this stereotype exists, whether it’s true, and, if so, why guys are so forgetful when it comes to the romantic stuff. I know I’m as forgetful of dates as my boyfriend (OK, a little more forgetful). After a conversation with my boyfriend, I wasn’t much closer to figuring it out. But I did realize a few things. It’s not because guys don’t think it’s important. It’s not because they don’t understand why it’s important. It seems to be that it has something to do with the way men and women prioritize. For example, when I asked my boyfriend for a random fact, he admitted that he remembers his mother’s birthday because it’s the same month and day Apollo 13 launched.
Stereotype No. 3: Sex is the most important thing to guys. One of the most surprising things my boyfriend admitted to me when we first starting going out was that he had feared that I would end up as a one-night stand. Girls have an often unfounded idea of how guys view sex. Just because a guy is interested, it does not mean he is interested only in sex, despite what your mother told you. Guys care just as much about the emotional side of a relationship. I’ve learned that they are not universally selfish; that their personal pleasure and satisfaction does not always take priority over everything else.
It’s not exactly a revelation to realize the falsity behind these stereotypes. But sometimes stereotypes can be so prevalent that it’s hard to escape from them. These lingering preconceptions can affect your relationship, whether you’ve been with the person for years or have just started dating.
— Clossin is a Wichita sophomore in secondary English education.
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Comments
Clossin: Society often ignores stereotypes about men
How informative to have a woman tell guys how they actually are, which is not how they actually are. Sex is the most important thing to guys, and guys rarely do cry unless there is a truly devastating occurrence. Take it from an actual guy
Clossin: Society often ignores stereotypes about men
I thought it was a good article.
Clossin: Society often ignores stereotypes about men
I like how she uses stereotypes to negate stereotypes (#2)... I'm not obsessed with cars, don't know anything about space stations, and definitely do not play World of Warcraft (I'm assuming that's what the reference is to). And Revive 1985, please don't speak for all of us, that's your opinion.
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