Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Editors’ note: Jason Wren’s death after a night of heavy drinking spurred this three-day series investigating alcohol use on campus and the effectiveness of the University’s alcohol policies. Jason’s death exposed potential cracks in a system intended to help students who may have drinking problems. Some sources spoke on the condition of anonymity because of the sensitive nature of the stories.
Jason Wren’s last night began, by all accounts, pretty normally.
Friends with him that day said Jason joined a group of friends at a local restaurant for margaritas. Then they went home to the Sigma Alpha Epsilon house, where they socialized, hung out and drank.
Graphic by Drew Bergman
Video
Jason Wren's family members get matching tattoos in his honor, after his memorial service.
Video
Jason Wren's family and friends share their memories of him.
Jason receives a kiss from his girlfriend, Channing Ahbe. The night before his death, Jason told another member of his fraternity that, although they went to different colleges, he still wanted to marry Ahbe after his college days were over.
Jason Wren's life was cut short after he died of apparent alcohol poisoning in the Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity house on March 8.
High school friends of Jason Wren stand for a photo with him during his senior prom in Littleton, Colo. One of Jason's high school friends said that he had a warm personality.
Mary and Jay Wren, parents of Jason Wren, the 19-year-old Littleton, Colo. freshman who was discovered dead in the Sigma Alpha Epsilon house March 8, grieve at a memorial service for their son held March 12. The service was attended by several hundred people. Although the final coroner's report will not be made available until June, a preliminary autopsy indicated that alcohol was present in Wren's body when he died.
Jay Wren, father of Jason Wren, speaks at his son's funeral in Littleton, Colo., on Monday, March 16. Since Jason's death, Jay has been vocal about seeing alcohol- and privacy-related policies changed.
Vicky Wren, sister of Jason Wren, speaks alongside her mother Mary Wren during Jason's funeral in Littleton, Colo., on March 16. Victoria fought back tears as she shared her favorite memories of her brother with the mourners gathered.
Hours later, about 1 p.m. Sunday, a friend went to wake Jason after their night of drinking. He was hungry. He wanted to see whether Jason wanted to join him for lunch.
He put a hand on Jason’s shoulder. Jason’s long-sleeve, white polo shirt had bunched up around the middle of his back. The skin in the small of his back was freezing and blue. His friend looked around the room thinking there must have been a window open to make him so cold.
Jason’s friend shook him, trying to break him out of his slumber. He noticed Jason’s shirt was soaked with vomit.
The friend was getting frustrated. No way was something seriously wrong, he thought. Jason’s just asleep. Death by alcohol? That just happens to kids somewhere else — not here.
He tried lifting Jason’s head. That was when he couldn’t pretend any longer — something was wrong. He shook Jason hard, yelled at him to disprove his fear.
“No, no, no!” came the screams from the sophomore sleeping dorm. “Jason? Jason!”
Thirty minutes later, the paramedics came downstairs to the living room where about 40 SAE men had gathered.
“The news you all are fearing is unfortunately true,” one of the paramedics told them. “Jason Wren passed away sometime in the night.”
“Then,” said an SAE freshman, “all you could hear was crying.”
The death of Jason Wren, a popular and kind-hearted athlete, from suspected alcohol poisoning March 8 in the Sigma Alpha Epsilon house, 1301 West Campus Road, shocked a close-knit network of friends and family from Colorado to Kansas.
Weeks later, the details surrounding Jason’s death — and last few days of life — remain unclear amid a swirl of controversy and contradiction. Jason’s father is calling for change in everything he believes contributed to his son’s death — from University privacy policy to the apparently embedded alcohol culture at the University — as Jason’s family and friends continue to grieve an incredible loss.
Jason’s family continues to seek answers about what exactly happened to its only son. Who drove Jason — who did not have a car — to get the alcohol he drank that night? Where did he get the fake ID he used to buy alcohol? Why didn’t anyone call for help that night?
That these and other questions remain unanswered nearly two months after Jason’s death may be testimony to the sensitive issues his case has raised.
Many close to Jason chose not to speak publicly about his death because of the pain it would cause them, while others chose not to because they were not authorized to speak. Two SAE members, Jason’s lacrosse teammates, his father and others who knew him provide new details about Jason’s final weekend and his time at the University of Kansas.
JASON’S LAST DAY
On Saturday, March 7, Jason woke up at about 5 a.m. to get ready for a 6 a.m. charter bus ride from the Lied Center to Iowa City, Iowa, for a club lacrosse tournament. In one of his last conversations with his dad, Jason, who played football in high school, shared his excitement about possibly becoming a starting midfielder for the team. But partying Friday night, an SAE freshman said, had left him tired.
He went back to sleep, later telling friends he had planned to just “lie down for a second.”
That second turned into several hours and Jason missed the bus.
“I’m screwed! My coach is going to make me run forever,” he told a friend after he woke up again about 10:30 a.m. It was about then that a teammate received a text message in Iowa City. It was from Jason: “Hey, man, tell the coaches I’m sorry. My phone’s broken. My alarm just didn’t go off.”
Jason told his fraternity buddies that the penalty for missing the bus would be strenuous workouts. But Jason was never one to spend a day moping around.
“Well, I may as well get wasted tonight,” he was quoted as saying. “I’m going to have to run all week; I may as well have some fun tonight.”
Around 5:30 p.m. Saturday, Jason went with a group to a local restaurant, where he used his fake ID to buy pitchers of margaritas.
By 9:30 p.m. he was back at the SAE house. He decided not to go out to The Hawk as planned. A heavy thunderstorm also kept several other members inside that night.
Instead, Jason socialized with his friends. And Jason drank.
Jay Wren, Jason’s father, said that Lawrence police told him his son drank 10 to 12 beers inside the SAE house that night. An SAE freshman said he did not know how many beers Jason drank, or who had taken him to buy the beers, but that Jason also drank Franzia wine and took at least one long swig of whiskey from a bottle. He said drinking straight from a bottle of hard liquor was a common occurrence within the hallways of the house.
“I was standing not even a foot away from him and I remember watching him take this whiskey pull, and he took a very large whiskey pull — very large — and I was like, ‘Damn,’” the freshman said. “After that it was clear he was very drunk.”
He said he teasingly warned Jason, “You better not puke on my couch.”
“I never puke, I never puke,” Jason replied.
Jason reportedly passed out on a bench on the first floor of the SAE house, and friends carried him to his bed. But he woke back up and started to drink again.
“He kept waking up, completely coherent, actually wanting to drink more,” an SAE junior said. “They took alcohol away from him because they found him in a room drinking, just chugging by himself, and they were like, ‘What are you doin’? We just put you to bed. Go to bed.’”
Both the junior and the SAE freshman said no one called for help that night because no one thought Jason showed any signs of alcohol poisoning.
A ‘PASSIONATE’ MAN
Jason Christopher Wren was born May 1, 1990, and grew up in Littleton, Colo., with his father, his mother, Mary, and sisters Katie, 22, and Vicky, 15. Jason grew up playing Little League baseball and pick-up football. He had always been athletic and outdoors-minded, like many of the residents of Littleton, a suburb of Denver at the base of the Rocky Mountains.
Jason was a kid who loved sports and socializing with his friends. He started drinking in high school, something Jay Wren says he now painfully regrets turning a blind eye to.
Many of the 12 people who spoke at Jason’s funeral at Cherry Hills Community Church on March 16 conveyed the weight of a death that could have been avoided.
“The reality of this moment — the ‘couldas,’ ‘shouldas,’ ‘wouldas’ — in light of the hopes and dreams of a young son, brother, teammate, friend and boyfriend, are crushing,” said Brett Garretson, the service’s religious leader.
Nick Parker, Jason’s childhood friend and one of the pallbearers, spoke of Jason’s passion for life, his big heart and his natural magnetism.
“He was like an earthbound sun,” Parker said. “Whenever someone was in Jason’s gravitational pull, he always warmed them.”
Jay Wren’s voice was strong and proud as he spoke of his son, who showed all the qualities he had hoped for — compassion, athleticism, leadership.
“Jason got the nickname ‘the mayor’ in Little League,” he told the crowd of mourners. “He was always the leader — of everything.”
Jason’s lacrosse teammates commended him as a leader among the freshmen on the team. Mark Barrath, St. Louis graduate student and Jason’s coach, said Jason was in the running for a starting spot because of his skill and his commitment.
“He was a talented player, but it really was his work ethic and his constant dedication that set him apart,” Barrath said.
Members of the team made the eight-hour drive to Littleton for Jason’s funeral, as did several friends from the University.
“The University of Kansas lost a great person,” said Ben Fohrman, St. Paul, Minn., freshman, after the service.
An SAE member described Jason as good-looking, outgoing and magnetically charming at their memorial service on the SAE lawn on March 12. They said he was a huge hit with the ladies everywhere he went.
Still, he did not have a girlfriend at the University. Instead, as his family and his close network of high school friends from Colorado all enthusiastically said, his heart was reserved for his high-school sweetheart.
Channing Ahbe, a freshman at the University of Vermont, described Jason — her boyfriend since the seventh grade — in a single word: “Passionate. He was passionate about everything he did. It got him in trouble sometimes, but that’s what he was — passionate.”
When Channing’s father disapproved of Jason’s dating her, Jason went out of his way to gain his respect. Eventually Jason and Channing were inseparable.
An SAE freshman learned about Channing the night before Jason died.
“Friday night, we started talking about girls,” the freshman said. “He said, ‘Yeah, I already know who I’m gonna marry — I’ve been dating this girl since seventh grade.’”
The freshman said that Jason told him he and Channing had grown apart somewhat since he had come to the University and she went to Vermont on a hockey scholarship but said, “Once I get out of college, I want to be with her.”
JASON THE JAYHAWK
Jason Wren was thrilled at the opportunity to come to the University last fall. His childhood friends said he chose the school because he wanted to branch out and make new friends. It was a great place for two of Jason’s favorite things, they said: sports and parties.
“Jason was so excited about KU. He always talked about it — ‘I’m gonna go to Lawrence, it’s gonna be great, it’s gonna be great,” Ahbe said, mimicking Jason’s low voice and terse, short sentences.
Jason never declared a major, but he had become interested in aerospace engineering shortly before his death, his father said.
He moved onto the first floor of Oliver Hall in August 2008. As he was just about anywhere he went, Jason was outgoing and popular on his floor and throughout the hall.
“He was one of the first people to come up to me and make me feel welcome when I moved in,” said Nick Voroshine, Sydney, Australia, junior.
But Jason’s outgoing and fun-loving nature got him into trouble at Oliver. Jason drank in his and others’ rooms, leading to numerous write-ups that eventually resulted in the Department of Student Housing’s asking Jason to leave.
Jay Wren said his son told him a week ahead of time that he had been given until Feb. 28 to leave Oliver Hall for violating housing policy.
Jay Wren said he called the Department of Student Housing to ask why his son was being forced to leave, but a representative told him a privacy policy dictated that details remain confidential.
The father said his son had downplayed his infractions, saying a resident assistant wrote him up after finding a shot glass, and later a beer can, in his room, and finally because he had been seen holding a beer can for a friend while the friend used the restroom.
Records of Jason’s specific infractions are protected by the University’s interpretation of the federal Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA).
Jay Wren said he would like to see student housing’s privacy policy concerning the notification of parents following a rule violation changed, giving parents more access to student housing records, especially records concerning behavioral issues.
“I looked up the law — they’ll release full records to other scholastic institutions, they’ll release it to financial institutions, but they won’t release it to the parents,” Jay Wren said. “There needs to be an exception; they can’t block out the parents.”
Marlesa Roney, vice provost for student success, said after Jason’s death that University administration was reviewing its policy.
Jill Jess, associate director for news and media relations, said all housing issues were private, even after a former resident’s death. The Department of Student Housing declined to comment.
THE INVESTIGATION
Jason’s family had hoped Lawrence police would treat his death as a criminal investigation, but no such investigation is under way.
A preliminary report found evidence of physical damage to Jason’s body that is associated with alcohol and drug overdoses, said Jennifer McCollum, medical investigator at the Shawnee County coroner’s office.
A final report is due in June after examination of biological samples that were sent to a laboratory in St. Louis.
As for any investigation by the University or the fraternity, officials have said little. Immediately after Jason’s death, Chancellor Robert Hemenway released a statement expressing sorrow for Jason’s death and acknowledging the family’s loss.
Shane Glenn, president of the KU SAE chapter, declined to comment. The fraternity has had two events in honor of Jason: a memorial service after he died and a tribute concert Monday.
Rueben Perez, director of the Student Involvement and Leadership Center, which oversees greek life at the University, said that after Jason’s death, KU officials planned to bring more attention to the problem of drinking — especially underage drinking — by students.
“It’s a problem that permeates not just the greek community but the whole campus,” Perez said.
‘DENVERDAD’ AND OTHERS SPEAK OUT
Since his son’s death, Jay Wren has been outspoken in calling for college students to change their drinking habits. He would also like to see alcohol possession rules at fraternities change, saying the current practices contributed to Jason’s death.
“He was a good kid. He was loved by many, and his life got cut short,” he said. “In his honor, I want kids to put the drinks down, and every time I want to have a drink now, I’m going to say no. It’s in honor of my son, because alcohol killed him.”
Under the screenname “DenverDad,” Jay Wren has left nearly 50 comments on articles about his son’s death on Kansan.com — some nearly 500 words long — to date. One such comment:
“Why do we let our children, underage, sleep in a house that has open alcohol and no adult supervision? It was the biggest mistake in my life.
The law doesn’t allow anyone under 21 to be in bars after 10 p.m., but it’s OK for them to be in “sleeping bars” called fraternities?
YES, I made mistake of going to bar with my son the weekend before he died, the weekend I helped him move. YES, I made an error in judgment that it would be okay for Jason to be in a fraternity …
I have made changes in my life to be a better example to my surviving daughters. I have not had a drink since the day I heard of Jason’s death. Why can’t fraternities change? Why can’t the University change?”
Wren has criticized what he says are “loaded gun” policies of housing drinking-age and underage residents in the same residence halls and greek houses. He has also accused the University and SAE of failing to provide students with educational programs that include the signs of alcohol poisoning.
“Uninformed students who didn’t know the dangers ended up putting Jason’s life in a terrible circumstance, and I know that they’ll live with that guilt forever,” Wren said.
Brandon Weghorst, the national spokesman for SAE, said the fraternity invested time and money into continuous training about the dangers of alcohol for each of its members.
Weghorst said in a statement that SAE had closed an internal investigation of the chapter after finding no “criminal actions or negligence by the organization, the chapter or its respective members that led to the death” and that “we believe this is a very unfortunate, isolated incident.”
THE ‘PROBLEM’
Jason’s tragic death has left a painful void in the lives of his mother and father, his sisters and his countless friends.
Those close to Jason say they want his life to be remembered, not his death.
“We want people to know Jason’s life wasn’t drinking,” Vicky Wren, Jason’s sister, said.
Several people who knew him have been frustrated by comments from people who say that because Jason died from excessive drinking, he had a drinking problem.
“Every time I hear somebody say he had a drinking problem, I just want to scream, because Jason Wren did not have a drinking problem,” the SAE freshman said.
He said he felt people looked for a simple answer to Jason’s death, but that it was an “unfortunate accident” — the result of the kind of drinking that was common at the University.
“People want to blame the fraternity, people want to blame him, but it’s not that at all — it’s just college,” the freshman said. “We drink. You binge drink, you drink to get drunk. It’s what I do, that’s what everybody does, that’s what Jason did.”
He said Jason did not have a problem, because he did not need to drink but rather chose to drink because of the culture.
“By the books, yes, he had a drinking problem,” he said. “I mean, I have a drinking problem, every single kid here probably has a drinking problem.”
— — Edited by Luke Morris
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Comments
DenverDad (anonymous) says...
Well done Luke, well written!
Our family continues to be in pain and sorrow over our loss. Our hearts and prayers go out to the parents and family of Dalton Hawkins for their recent loss.
I urge everyone to go to www.Gordie.org with your son or daughter. Look under EDUCATION and select Memorial Wall. There you will see hundreds of people listed who also died from alcohol. All like Jason and Dalton who thought they could handle the alcohol. They all thought it surely wouldn't happen to them.
I highy praise and commend SAE for holding an alcohol free concert remembering Jason. He was a great young man, who spoke kindly of everyone and loved life. I'm sure the Hawkins family feels the same about their son and we grieve with them for their terrible loss.
Two things said to me have been very comforting. One was, "Remember God loves Jason more than you do. And he was only on loan to you." The other was, "Compared to our time in eternity, this time away from Jason will be just a blip in time."
I'll see you again Buddy in the not too distant future where I hope we can throw the baseball again and I can see you play and compete once more.
Thank you to everyone in SAE who helped put on this alcohol-free event. I hope it showed others you can have a good time without alcohol. It's a great start! It's been almost two months with my drink down and I know I'm better off for it. Thanks guys!
And a special thank you to the Lacrosse Team for their support, prayers and T-shirts! They look awesome. I'm glad you guys won one for "the Mayor" in the big Missouri game. Congratulations guys and THANKS!! I loved playing your message to the family on Easter coach!
One last thing. To the parents who have dependant students attending KU, you are entitled to information under EXCEPTION TO PRIOR WRITTEN CONSENT RULE, exception #9. You can read it yourself:
http://www.ed.gov/policy/gen/guid/fpc...
May changes for the better take place and may these tragedies not repeat again.
God bless you all.
-Jay Wren, Jason's Dad
April 28, 2009 at 2:31 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
DenverDad (anonymous) says...
OPPS! Alexandra, well written! LOL Sorry. It's late.
Thank you for your hard work and investigation, but most of all for your truthfulness and sensitivity.
-Jay, Jason's dad
April 28, 2009 at 2:45 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
ebenavid (anonymous) says...
As I read it, exception #9 to the FERPA rule is not an entitlement, but rather, permission to the University to disclose records to parents of dependent students to their parents. The way I read it, the University can, but is not obligated to, disclose information to parents of dependent students.
The University doesn't have the resources to identify those students who are parents of dependent students based on the Internal Revenue Code (IRC). Dependent status on the FAFSA places more students under the dependent category than does the IRC, so the Financial Aid office doesn't even have the resources to determine IRC status unless it asks for and receives parents' tax returns. I know it's possible to be dependent on the FAFSA but not on the IRC because that was my situation as an undergrad.
Then, of course, there are some students who don't fill out a FAFSA for whatever reason or another - giving the University no clue as to whether or not the student is self-supporting or helped out by his/her parents.
If the University were to want to use #9 properly, it would have to request parents' and students' tax returns annually, to make sure it knows the status of the students under penalty of perjury (so as to not negligently violate FAFSA's restrictions).
This would take more manpower to process the tax returns and to implement a system where University departments could easily check on a student's status. Since the State of Kansas is in a budget crisis, it would be difficult to find enough new funding to cover the additional hours of labor required in order to implement such a request.
I realize that parents will always think of their children as children, but there is a coming of age that happens right around the final years of high school and the beginning years of undergraduate study. Also, upon entering a postsecondary institution, all FAFSA rights that once were the parents' rights are assumed by the student him/herself. In the State of Kansas, once someone is 18 years of age, he/she is an adult for all intents and purposes except for the consumption of alcohol and the purchase of a handgun.
I don't think the age of majority should be raised, since most people getting out of high school are 18. Some don't get any additional education beyond that and must start supporting themselves then, working a full-time job. However, this means that all students in college are generally treated as adults, even if they might seem childish at times, and even if they are not self-supporting.
April 28, 2009 at 3:45 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
hooligan (anonymous) says...
"every single kid here has a drinking problem."
Can you generalize anymore?
April 28, 2009 at 7:30 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
pantheon (anonymous) says...
hooligan, he's talking about SAE. So yes, technically he could generalize any more.
April 28, 2009 at 8:24 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
andrealange (anonymous) says...
Alexandra, your report of this tragedy is well thought and professionally presented. Eye-opening...good job.
April 28, 2009 at 8:31 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
moto (anonymous) says...
the other night i was out with one of jason's frat brother's. i asked him what he was doing for that weekend and he replied "getting totally wasted...that is what you do." i would have thought what happened to jason would make these kids think twice. but apparently not. it sickened me to hear about how cool it is to drink until you don't even remember anymore. and now..i heard on the radio this morning that the kid who fell off of the schol hall roof had been drinking, too. and ALL of this could have been prevented. how in the world do we get the message out that drinking so damn heavily until you forget where you are, puke on yourself , fall off a building or tragically die--- is UNCOOL, kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!! denver dad...my heart goes out to you. i cannot imagine the pain you must be feeling. think happy thoughts....jason sounded like a wonderful person and son. : )
April 28, 2009 at 9:09 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
esskay (anonymous) says...
It seems tragic and unfair that he died when so many others do the same thing and live. But he was an adult, and I suspect that he was aware of the dangers of excessive drinking. It's not KU's fault. It's not greek life's fault. It's not SAE's fault. All the blame in the world won't bring him back.
And if Jay Wren thinks only people in fraternities are binge drinkers, he's in for a rude awakening. A student who gets kicked out of Oliver for multiple alcohol violations has already demonstrated that he will drink when and where he wishes, regardless of the rules. SAE was just a change of venue.
April 28, 2009 at 9:33 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
esskay (anonymous) says...
"But Jason’s outgoing and fun-loving nature got him into trouble at Oliver."
Sorry to be a jerk, but this statement is just wrong. Was Jason written up for being outgoing and fun-loving? Last time I checked, that's not against the rules. I think what you mean is that his DRINKING got him into trouble at Oliver. It's a newspaper, so say what you mean.
April 28, 2009 at 9:45 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
connerm (anonymous) says...
This is an excellent piece of journalism, Alexandra. You did a great job staying objective and simultaneously letting readers feel empathy for everyone involved in this tragic situation. Thank you for your hard work.
April 28, 2009 at 9:57 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
KU2008 (anonymous) says...
"every single kid here probably has a drinking problem.”
How low can you go to accusing everybody to such a thing!? Quit blaming everybody else!
April 28, 2009 at 10:35 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
JConnor (anonymous) says...
Nice article, Alexandra.
April 28, 2009 at 10:37 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
mkozak (anonymous) says...
Well written article. I didnt know Jason but from all that I have hear the world lost a very good person.
It is always sad to hear of tragedies such as this. It can be said 50,000 times that it could have been avoided or "What if" but unfortunately the university and policies at frats and dorms on campus will not change. Drinking has become a part of college life [wether we want it to or not] for most kids and with events of this nature come the strengthening of the stereo type about greek life (which in lots of cases are true) but I would like to point out that their are many greek and non greek students that don't partake in binge drinking or choose to drink very little. These are the people that have learned from unfortunate events such as the case of the death of Jason and Dalton. I think it would be wise for everyone to take note before you go out to drink all day and end the night downing hard liquor. Education will go much further then restriction...
To the Wern family and friends my thoughts and prays are with you.
-mkozak
April 28, 2009 at 11:32 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
DenverDad (anonymous) says...
Dear Moto,
Thank you for sharing your insight. Maybe the people who are working on making smoking uncool will shift or inspire others to make "getting wasted" uncool.
Maybe instead of laughing and revering people who got wasted or did stupid things, people were to redicule and belittle the idiocy of drinking that hard. In other words, make drinking heavily uncool and pathetic. It is sadly a truth that this binge drinking will continue and there is no "magic pill" that stops it from ever happening again. But, what ever one can do, will make a difference.
Again, we feel for the Hawkin's family too. The pain of losing your son or daughter is the worst thing one can endure.
-Jay, Jason's dad
April 28, 2009 at 12:34 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
hooligan (anonymous) says...
@pantheon
After re-reading, he is not talking strictly about SAE. It is not just "college" and you cannot generalize about 25,000 students.
April 28, 2009 at 12:41 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
dchanay (anonymous) says...
This seems like a personal responsibility issue. Mr. Wren was 18 years old and could make decisions for himself. What policies would stop an alcoholic or otherwise determined person from drinking? There's no way to do it. If somebody wants to drink themselves to death they're going to do it. Its sad, but that's just life.
April 28, 2009 at 12:49 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
dominatindj11 (anonymous) says...
“Why do we let our children, underage, sleep in a house that has open alcohol and no adult supervision? It was the biggest mistake in my life.
The law doesn’t allow anyone under 21 to be in bars after 10 p.m., but it’s OK for them to be in “sleeping bars” called fraternities?
YES, I made mistake of going to bar with my son the weekend before he died, the weekend I helped him move. YES, I made an error in judgment that it would be okay for Jason to be in a fraternity …
____________________________________________________________
No adult supervision? These kids are all 18+, that is considered an adult. If these kids are not going to live on their own, when the he!l are they? Its called part of growing up.
"Sleeping bars" - why? because they have alcohol in them? I'm not in a frat, but that is a ridiculous statement. You can go to 75% of the college houses in Lawrence and find alcohol. Does this mean that all those places are "sleeping bars"
"DenverDad" needs to take some responsibility for his sons death. He puts all the blame on the frat, the school, his sons friends, but none on himself. Non of those things killed Jason. Jason killed Jason. He didn't know when to stop, or how to be a responsible drinker. There are thousands of kids in Lawrence who drink every weekend and none of them die.
Instead of talking to his son about drinking and how to be responsible while still drinking like millions of other Americans, Jay Wren went to the bar with his underage son. Let me say that again, Jay Wren went to the bar with his underage son.
This is his son who got kicked out of the dorms, who liked to have a drink. Having a drink is fine, but when you pound them all night is what gets you in trouble. The father needs to stop blaming everyone else in this mess and understand that none of it is going to bring his son back. If Jay Wren wants to place responsibility on someone, it needs to be on himself and his son.
April 28, 2009 at 1:17 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Revive1985 (anonymous) says...
I could not agree with the previous comment by dominatindj11 more. It's difficult to understand the pain Mr. Wren has gone through, when you put all that time and energy in raising a child for 18 years. To suddenly lose them at such a young age is tragic. At the same time, Mr Wren is completely out of line to blame the University and SAE for this incident. That house has been around for over 105 years and there was never a drinking death until this one. That house does not haze and no one forced Jason to drink the alcohol. The idea of bringing criminal charges is ludicrous. It would not have mattered where Jason lived because the young man would have found a way to drink. As Clint Eastwood says in Magnum Force: "A man's got to know his limits." Culture exists beyond rules in free society, Mr Wren, and there is no changing that reality. Your posts are not doing anything to reduce alcohol consumption and they are not going to bring Jason back. I'm sure you could find a better use of your time to improve society
April 28, 2009 at 2:16 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
simplyamazing03 (anonymous) says...
Not EVERYONE on campus has a drinking problem SUA freshmen. I know plenty of people who don't. Not all of us drink to get drunk. I know some people who don't even drink and I have just as much fun with them as I do have with friends at a party where alcohol is involved. Some of us have bigger goals in life than just drinking to get drunk. Goals that cause us to look into the future and can turn us into something great and even save lives.
I think there was some bit of a drinking problem involved. I live in a residence hall and I haven't met anyone who has been kicked out due to all the write ups they have received from drinking. It is very sad that Jason had to learn the ultimate lesson of drinking too much. It saddens me that they housing department couldn't get to him through the write ups. I also feel bad that he did not have a true enough friend there to realize something was wrong. College is fun, live it up & go out. However, please realize that it does NOT last forever. There is so much more to life than drinking.
As for the girlfriend, I'm sorry for your loss as well. I know I would be devastated. But, please do not draw the attention to yourself like you did in the video. I'm sure he was passionate about you, thats why he dated you. But do go and list all the things he is passionate about and include yourself. That just made you look really shallow and I loss some respect from you.
I am sorry for your loss, but I think a lot of growing up of all individuals involved in this tragedy needs to happen. Quit blaming others for your inability to teach your son the dangers of alcohol. You should play a better role in your child's life and pay attention in orientation when they tell you about those sheets. As for the friends, I wish one of you could have looked into the future just a bit and helped him - instead you were to busy enjoying the short lasting effects of alcohol, now you will always miss your friend.
April 28, 2009 at 2:32 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
MiracleShot2008 (anonymous) says...
So he had a drinking problem in high school?
Like father, like son?
Jesus Christ, be a good parent and get your kids to stop underage drinking.
April 28, 2009 at 2:56 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
JeremyA (anonymous) says...
My heart goes out to Jason Wren's family.
I've never understood this fixation on getting completely hammered. The one time in my life I drank myself to the point of vomiting was the last time I ever did that! (Mind you that was the first time I had ever drank in my life)
I don't know what the University can do to make information, such as Jason's alcohol infractions, public to parents. I have some concerns about disclosing that sort of personal information. This is not boarding school, we are(for better or worse) adults in the eyes of the law.
I'm gay, I live in Oliver Hall(4th floor, I did not know Jason), and low and behold my room mate woke up one day to go to class and there was seminal fluid on our door knob. No doubt by the dufus frat boys next door. Now my room mate, bless him, did not wake me up, just got a towel, cleaned it off, and went to class thoroughly grossed out.
Now had I woken up and seen that on my door the first thing that I would have done would have been to call the police, and then to get senior staff to my floor asap. That being said I have been so run down with school these past two months that I just let it go. Something I admit I probably should not have done.
I'm not thrilled at the notion that my personal infractions, violations of housing policy, or police reports made while living in student housing should be open to my parents, regardless of the fact that I am a dependent. I am 21 years old(I know, a little old for the dorms), can be drafted, has the right to vote, can get married if I so wish(Mind you in four states). What happened with my door is my business, between me and the university and whomever may have done it. Had that information been sent to my parents had I done what I described above, I would have been livid, I would have absolutely hit the roof. I have a right to privacy. End of line.
However, I see something like this that could have been, with some parental interaction, completely avoided. I hear and understand the other sides of the argument. So I'm torn at what the university should do.
I represent AbleHawks in the student senate next semester and I suppose I'll fire off an e-mail to the new student body president about any sort of legislation or potential changes we, in the student government, can make. It could be completely out of our jurisdiction though.
Beltane is coming soon. The KU Cauldron is going to have it's annual ritual at Camp Gaia and I was planning on going to the nearby cemetery and pouring a bottle of rum as an offering to Baron Samedi to watch over the dead. I'll add Jason's name to that list.
- J
ksdemocratsforthewin@yahoo.com
April 28, 2009 at 3:05 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
codfish203 (anonymous) says...
For all that were arguing over this quote:
"every single kid here has a drinking problem." This quote was not to place blame on anyone. If you read the quote in the proper context it is merely an observation that many college students especially in Lawrence, KS can be defined as someone with a drinking problem. HERE ARE SOME SIGNS OF a Drinking Problem with typical responses of a KU student in parantheses:
Do you lose time from classes due to drinking?(Oh man I skipped class today because I was too hung over)
Do you drink because you are uncomfortable in social situations?(I don't know anyone at this party; if I drink more I'll loosen up)
Do you drink to build up your self confidence?(Lets get wasted and get some girls)
Do you drink to escape from studies or home worries?(Stop Day!)
Do you have to take a drink when you go out on a date?
Do you get along better with other people when you drink?
Do you get into financial troubles over buying liquor?(Oh s**t I left my tab open at the hawk, or I overdrew my account because I had a huge tab last night)
Do you drink until you just couldn't drink anymore?
Have you ever had a complete loss of memory from drinking?( I totally blacked out last night)
Have you ever been to a hospital or been arrested due to drunken behavior? (Who doesn't know at least 3 people at KU to get an MIP)
Do you turn off to any studies or lectures about drinking?(We have all been educated on this stuff since elementary school. Of course we turn off to lectures about drinking)
Do you think you have a problem with alcohol?( F*** NO! )
April 28, 2009 at 4:48 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
dchanay (anonymous) says...
if an MIP is a sign of a drinking problem than anyone under 21 who has ever drank has a drinking problem. they just didn't get caught.
April 28, 2009 at 4:57 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
seriously (anonymous) says...
Excuse me for being rude but to the people that want Jay to recognize his fault in his son's death and quit blaming others,you honestly think he doesnt blame himself everyday? He has changed himself, he stopped drinking, now he is working to change the other factors in his son's death. The way you speak of Jay Wren sickens me, this man just lost his son yet you show a complete lack of sensitivity in your comments. You can all sit here and debate the facts of Jason's case and the symantics of what was said by his father or the reporter, but why? You didn't know him, you didnt spend the time we all spent with him, if you did, none of these insensitive comments would be posted. Please remember that as his friends and family, we track these articles, and we read your comments, and to say the least it hurts to see what some of you think about our friend. We lost a very important person, and its not getting much easier when we see people destroying the memory we had of him. Jason Wren died, and nothing will bring him back to us, we realize that, I am just kindly asking for a little sensitivity, if not to his friends then at least to Jay.
April 28, 2009 at 5:39 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
oswaldorf (anonymous) says...
There is a problem of binge drinking on college campuses whether "everybody's doing it" or not.
April 28, 2009 at 5:45 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
MiracleShot2008 (anonymous) says...
LOL I'd suggest not reading any comments on articles about Wren then... You obviously don't understand how the internet works.
April 28, 2009 at 5:54 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
DenverDad (anonymous) says...
The way MiracleShot2008 believes the internet works is to hurl insults at grieving people anonymously, under a false name. It's one thing to take a different position, I can appreciate different positions, it's another to insult someone under a pseudonym.
What a cowardly thing to do!
If you want to insult someone, let people should know who you really are! Of course, you are always welcome to come to Denver anytime and say those things to me in person. I would welcome the opportunity to see you face to face. :-)
-Jay, Jason's dad
April 28, 2009 at 6:18 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
simplyamazing03 (anonymous) says...
Sorry but the truth hurts sometimes. You have the right to post on here and we are not theartening anyone and we are also offering condolences to family and friends.
I think it is very immature of you as a grown man to be arguing with a possible college student over this situation. You need to face the facts; however, I think it's great that you have stop drinking and realized some of the things that you have done wrong.
On the other note, if it hurts his friends so much than they should have been better friends in the first place. Then, this wouldn't be a problem at all.
Again, I'm sorry for your loss. But lets be mature about the whole situation.
April 28, 2009 at 6:37 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
simplyamazing03 (anonymous) says...
Few corrections: You have the right to post your opinion on here and so do we. If you don't want people judging your son on his possible drinking prolbem then don't judge MiracleShot2008 on his post and how he 'believes the internet works'.
I think it's great that you haved stopped* drinking and realized some of the things you have done wrong.
April 28, 2009 at 6:46 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
dielorelei (anonymous) says...
no offense, but your 'child' was an adult and he made the decision to drink, to join the fraternity. like it or not, unless you forced him to do all these things, he was acting of his own volition- making the same decisions countless frat boys make every night.
and to say that “Every time I hear somebody say he had a drinking problem, I just want to scream, because Jason Wren did not have a drinking problem,” the SAE freshman said." is ridiculous.
clearly, if you die from alcohol poisoning, you have a problem. if you don't know when to stop drinking, that's a problem. if you aren't aware that NOT vomiting can kill you, that's a problem. if your drinking buddies don't know the signs of alcohol poisoning, that's a problem.
but it's not everyone's problem, it's YOUR problem. privacy policies should not be changed just because you drink yourself to death- perhaps education should be changed instead. perhaps if they lectured about alcohol poisoning at frosh orientation, it wouldn't be as much of a problem.
information is everything. raise your children to make good choices; its not about teaching them to do as you want, but rather teaching them how to survive if they do make bad decisions. its similar to the sex talk- even if you don't want them to be having sex, you should still educate them regarding the risks of unprotected sex and the importance of contraception. it sounds cheesy, but honestly, talking DOES work.
but the bottom line is really this, parents: cut the umbilical cord. as much as you would like to be involved in your child's life, it is their prerogative to inform you. you shouldn't allow health care workers to disclose your medical records to your parents, so why do you insist on keeping tabs on your ADULT offspring?
April 28, 2009 at 7:37 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
mspku (anonymous) says...
DenverDad,
I completely sympathize with you. No one deserves to lose a child, no one. I do believe, however, that it is time for you to quit assuming that all of the university's 30,000 students have drinking problems. Many of us are here to get our education, myself included. You continue to bash the Greek Community, which I am a part of, and say that we are wasting our lives away with drinking and parties. I think you need to take a step back and re-evaluate this. I have no problem with you shedding light on this matter, I would be appalled if you didn't, but stop bashing the university and it's students. Once again, I cannot say how sorry I am for your loss but stop blaming the university and stop generalizing the entire student body.
April 28, 2009 at 7:41 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
simplyamazing03 (anonymous) says...
I couldn't agree more with the last two post!
April 28, 2009 at 8:13 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
MiracleShot2008 (anonymous) says...
I think the reason there are negative associations with frats and sororities are of because people like Wren.
And sorry DenverDad, I have school. I don't have time to meet you face to face so I can tell you how big of a drunk idiot you are.
April 28, 2009 at 9:09 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
pump (anonymous) says...
MiracleShot2008,
You are a mindless, immature degenerate. Quit speaking ill of the dead, stop attacking grieving parents and work on not being the greasy crap at the bottom of the Internet barrel.
You're displaying your moral superiority and good upbringing quite well. Your family would be proud.
April 28, 2009 at 9:33 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
mellotron (anonymous) says...
Well, it is indeed a well-written article, just as others have pointed out. The sad part is that this will not be the last time you and I get to read such articles.
A few people may choose to stop drinking, but most will not. And serious alcohol policy changes from ANY organization, including KU itself, are completely out of the question.
Bottom line: More funerals, more photographs, more well-written campus newspaper stories, are on the way. Watch for them.
April 28, 2009 at 10:04 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
slund (anonymous) says...
It was a terrible loss to Jason's friends and family, but beyond that, it was (or should be) an alarming example of the consequences that may happen when people abuse alcohol. We can't say for sure whether Jason Wren was an alcoholic, but this unfortunate tragedy can happen to any one of us. It only takes one night of drinking for this to happen to a friend or loved one. When I read this story, it is just so upsetting that Jason's family had to go through something like this. Whatever anyone's feelings may be on Mr. Wren's criticism of greek life/campus privacy policy/student drinking problem, keep in mind that none of us (or very few) know what it is like to lose a child. Even if you don't agree with his stance on these issues, he has undeniably brought many issues to our attention that need to be examined. The excessive drinking on campus has to stop, and it's sad that it takes the death of such a great person for us to see that.
April 29, 2009 at 12:17 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Mitch (anonymous) says...
What happened to Jason -- and the other 1700 students that die each year from alcohol-related deaths -- is awful. But seriously -- WHAT are these parents and schools thinking? Most kids who join frats are lugheads -- losers and/or budding alcoholics. Who really believes all that "brotherhood" crap, all that "community service" crap? As if college isn't already one big party, frats are just a way to make binge drinking even easier. Parents who believed the PR the Greeks put out have only themselves to blame.
April 29, 2009 at 12:56 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
DenverDad (anonymous) says...
A video by this generation portrays what many kids look forward to in college. A stereotype? Then why is this song so popular?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43pkqe...
Guess it wouldn't be a popular song if it talked of all the kids who die in college.
College, lots of fun...till someone dies. My heart goes out to the SAE members who will have that horrible memory with them for the rest of their lives.
Question is, will they learn from it and make changes? I've admited my mistakes and I've made changes. Plenty of blame to go around, including myself. Now, will the University, the restaurant, and the fraternity make changes?
How many students must die, before changes are done? Some colleges make sure all their fraternities are dry. Don't like the stereotypes of fraternities? Make the frats dry then they can't stereotype you anymore.
April 29, 2009 at 1:14 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
RebeccaJ (anonymous) says...
Denverdad The problem does not lie with the students but how society works. Kids today arn't taught how to drink responsibly the go off to college and get wasted every night because they can. I feel that if kids were shown that drinking is not a way in which to say f**k rules I'm an adult now. US College campuses would be better places. Expose kids to alcohol earlier and in a more controlled manor and change the mentality of drinking and we will all be better off
April 29, 2009 at 1:31 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
MiracleShot2008 (anonymous) says...
Asher Roth is a pretty cool guy. eh raps about college parties and doesn't afraid of anything.
April 29, 2009 at 2:24 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
juniper08 (anonymous) says...
Wasn't Asher Roth making fun of frat guys with that song? I didn't realize people actually thought they were cool if they relate to the lyrics and video...
April 29, 2009 at 4:57 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
pantheon (anonymous) says...
Asher Roth heard you like being in college, so he put a college in your rap, so you can be in college while you rap.
April 29, 2009 at 8:20 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Mitch (anonymous) says...
The idea of fraternities going dry is as ludicrous as putting together sports teams designed to lose: it totally misses the point. Fraternities are corporate entities with nothing to do with the schools. They are unregulated providers of alcohol -- the ONLY providers of alcohol in the country that are unregulated. They have occasional spurts of community-related affairs to justify their existance - so that sap parents can feel good about their kid belonging. Typically, the fraternity "brother" is the loser kid seeking to be cool, looking for friends and a place to belong OR the kid who's figured out that that is where the open bar is, not to mention the pot, coke, Adderall, etc.
April 29, 2009 at 10:21 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
kustudent (anonymous) says...
You could also find alcohol, pot, coke, Adderall, etc. at, say, McCollum.
April 29, 2009 at 10:58 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Revive1985 (anonymous) says...
DenverDad: threatening to kick a college kid's ass is not constructive. You are really making a fool of yourself
April 29, 2009 at 2:09 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Mitch (anonymous) says...
kustudent wrote: You could also find alcohol, pot, coke, Adderall, etc. at, say, McCollum.
That's exactly right. A lot of these kids are leaving home for the first time. That's not enough. They've made the leap from high school to college. THAT is not enough. As you point out and as we all know, drinking is everywhere on campuses, as are all the other drugs. For those joining fraternities, you have to ask why. Why isn't the normal college party atmosphere enough? Frats are magnets for budding alcoholics. Don't believe me? Read this report from the Harvard School of Public Health: http://www.gordie.org/getdoc/ae6cd5de...
So parents who are "okay" with frats and then turn around after tragedy strikes looking for someone to blame don't get a lot of sympathy from me. www.gordie.org's documentary "Haze" shows Gordie's parents actually blaming the drinking age. If kids weren't afraid of getting busted, the mother and stepfather reason, some of the "brothers" might have dialed 911 in time to save Gordie. Doubtful, since the eventual caller was never identified and, hey, why break up a good party?
April 29, 2009 at 7:22 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
nns09 (anonymous) says...
Typically, the fraternity "brother" is the loser kid seeking to be cool, looking for friends and a place to belong OR the kid who's figured out that that is where the open bar is, not to mention the pot, coke, Adderall, etc.
man.... you need to work on your stereotypes. Could not be more inaccurate
April 30, 2009 at 7:40 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
mkozak (anonymous) says...
Education is all you can do ... Cant control anything other then your own actions. Educate and hope kids make the best decisions they can.
http://www.snagfilms.com/films/title/...
Not a bad documentary that came as a result of a kid from colorado who died from drinking too much.
April 30, 2009 at 2:47 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
KUstudent01 (anonymous) says...
nns09... your an idiot. And MiracleShot, im in school as well and would gladly like hear what you think of our beloved friend face to face. But like Jay said, your a coward and will continue to hide behind your computer. If you had any idea what Jay has had to go through, you wouldn't be sitting hear writing disrespectful things about him. This isn't some game on the internet to see who can make who feel worse about themselves. Grow up! You all can sit here and talk about Jason like he was a terrible person cause he enjoyed to drink from time to time, but in an entire lifetime you would be lucky to be half the person Jason was.
May 1, 2009 at 2:11 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )