Thursday, August 20, 2009
College football season brings the promise of entertainment. Unfortunately, it also heralds the arrival — or more accurately, the return — of certain tired storylines.
Certain tired stories such as last season’s biggest: the dominance of the Southeastern Conference. Folks around these parts didn’t care much for that trope last year, and they probably won’t like it any more when it’s dragged back out for this season. This being Big 12 country, it’s only a matter of time before cases for Midwestern superiority begin.
I won’t be making such a case though. At least, not now. Nor will I concern myself with which conference is better at all. Too often lost in the Big 12 and SEC debate is an interesting study in methodological contrast. That is, few debate the fact that the two conferences represent the elite in college football, yet the head coaches responsible for that success achieve it through starkly different means.
The SEC is home to coaches with cults of personality, and varying levels of potential insanity. Steve Spurrier, a character almost taken for granted nowadays, returned briefly to national prominence for placing Jevan Snead ahead of Sir Tim Tebow on his preseason all SEC ballot. After letting the story percolate for several days, The Visor lay the blame at the feet of an unfortunate lackey.
If Spurrier’s quirks are generally overlooked now, then the arrival of Lane Kiffin probably has something to do with it. Kiffin, in his short stint in Knoxville, has already managed the impossible: He has made Al Davis look sane for firing him. Kiffin, despite not having coached a college game yet, has made quite the name for himself already.
But, in doing so, he’s pushed some of the SEC’s other notable personalities out of public consciousness.
Les Miles, like Spurrier, is an over-the-top character who just so happens to be nicknamed after a piece of headgear. Mark Richt has his players dance on the sideline and in the end zone, all while dripping with the kind of arrogance that can only come from Capitol One Bowl glory. And then there’s Bobby Petrino and Nick Saban. If Dante wrote “The Inferno” now, they might be in Satan’s mouth next to Judas. Of course, there are exceptions. Rich Brooks, Bobby Johnson, and Houston Nutt all seem normal enough. But Brooks and Johnson coach Kentucky and Vanderbilt, so they don’t count. And Nutt’s name is Nutt. That’s gotta count for something.
But even they might pass for charismatic in the Big 12. Here, the model for coaching success seems to be bookish introversion and an “aww shucks” attitude. Lawrence’s local coach certainly fits the bill, as do all but two of his contemporaries: Dan Hawkins and Mike Leach. And sadly, it seems that Hawkins blew several years worth of interesting on his “This is Big 12 football, it ain’t intramurals” rant. Still, the reminder is appreciated.
That leaves us with Mike Leach. The Texas Tech coaching quirks are so numerous and well-documented that they almost overshadow his success. Sound dating advice? Check. Frequently noted affinity for pirates? Yup. Quoting historical figures in press conferences? I think Winston Churchill counts. The man even picked his kicker from a halftime contest.
Sadly, Leach is but one man. And one man cannot save the Big 12 in this confrontation. If only we could get coach Mangino to adopt a hat ... fedora, anyone?
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