Thursday, August 27, 2009
In light of academic fraudulence, the NCAA stripped Memphis of wins, a trip to the Final Four — and of course, the national championship game berth. But, in doing so, the NCAA has unintentionally disturbed the very fabric of space-time, while simultaneously obliterating a memory treasured by Jayhawk nation.
Oh sure, you think you remember something about a comeback. Maybe Darrell Arthur hit a jump shot or something. Perhaps some guys for the other team — who was that, again? — missed some free throws. Sherron Collins maybe barreled down the court, and fumbled the ball to Mario Chalmers. I think Chalmers made the shot he then proceeded to take. I seem to recall seeing a picture of it somewhere. Now if that shot went in, the game would have gone to overtime. Kansas would likely go on to dominate the extra period, and cut down the nets. It all sounds so real, almost like it actually happened.
But that’s impossible, clearly. How could any of that have taken place if Kansas didn’t actually play anyone in the national championship game? Suddenly, a comeback for the ages looks downright pitiful. After all, what kind of championship squad needs overtime to beat nobody? Although, now that I think about it, the lack of opponent does explain why no one fouled Collins while he careened down the court ...
Regardless, action must be taken. Kansas’ 2008 national championship cannot go down as having been a literally one-sided affair. That’s just embarrassing. No, Kansas needs to have played someone in that game. But if not Memphis, then who?
North Carolina, in a rematch for the ages? No, I don’t think so. If Roy’s choice of tie the first time around was that atrocious, I’d hate to see what else he had in his wardrobe. And really, don’t you think that Cole Aldrich scarred Tyler Hansbrough’s psyche enough in one game? Poor “Psycho T” would have to live up to his nickname in a more literal sense if he had to endure that kind of thrashing a second time. No, North Carolina’s out.
UCLA, the team Memphis defeated in the false reality we all think we remember, probably makes the most sense. After all, if Memphis didn’t even advance to the Final Four, they couldn’t very well have beaten anyone. UCLA/Kansas would have provided some interesting storylines too. The Bruins did oust the Jayhawks in the Elite Eight the previous year, and both programs surely belong among college basketball’s elite.
But if the NCAA is wiping the slate clean, I see no reason to settle for such an unambitious choice.
How about the 1996/97 Chicago Bulls? But they’re the most winning team in NBA history, you say. How could any college team stand a chance against a prime Michael Jordan? Trivial questions, really. We already know that, no matter who Kansas played or didn’t play, they won. That hasn’t changed, nor will it. So sorry M.J., looks like you’re about to come up on the wrong end of an iconic top of the key jumper. And hey, Mario didn’t even need to push off.
— — Edited by Anna Kathagnarath
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