You’re at a stalemate. You know you like her and you’re pretty sure she likes you. Or, you know he likes you but you’re not sure how to proceed. Flowers? Too much. A card? Too impersonal. And so you arrive at the age-old vehicle of so many declarations of affection: the mix tape.

Odd as it might seem, finding the person to make the tape can be one of the hardest parts of the process. For Mark Roseberry, assistant manager at Kief’s Downtown Music, 832 Massachusetts Street, making a mix tape for a person was the initial plunge into an eventual relationship. “I never made a tape for someone that I didn’t want to be a girlfriend,” he says.

Just reaching that threshold can take a lot, he says. By the time you start dreaming up lists of songs to communicate how you feel about that special someone, you want to be confident in your decision. But then what?

Choosing your format

The second important decision any mixers have to make is how they should channel their creativity. “I find it amusing and meaningful that they’re still referred to as mix tapes,” says Roberta Freund-Schwartz, associate professor of musicology. She has a point. From making an actual mix cassette tape to whipping up a mix CD to publishing an iMix playlist on the iTunes music store, audiophiles have more options than ever before. And with the cassette technology being phased out, tapes are more expensive than ever.

Also, your choice of format may say a lot about you as a music fan. Building a mix from taping from vinyl to a cassette means you appreciate old school rock and roll, while e-mailing someone a collection of mp3s could communicate that you don’t get hung up on possessing a huge, physical collection.

Follow the rules

From opening the mix with an attention getter to avoiding repeats of artists on one tape, Ian Hrabe believes in the rules. Hrabe, Olathe senior and music director for KJHK, says he spent most of his teens and all of his early 20s trying to perfect his tape-making technique.

Every time he decides to make a mix, he filters through his voluminous vinyl collection and starts selecting albums with standout songs he hopes will speak to his audience of one. He’s a sucker for lyrics, he says, and is acutely focused on making sure the words match his thoughts.

“‘First of all, you’re using someone else’s poetry to express how you feel,’” Hrabe says, quoting the music-centric film High Fidelity. And not only do people need to find songs that speak for them, they also have to find songs that express their overall taste. That way, when recipients react to any given tape, they’re responding to their feelings but also to their overall identity as a music fan.

“If they didn’t like my taste, then they’d have to like me for me,” says Roseberry, assistant manager at Kief’s Downtown Music.

Then, after making sure your choices speak for you as well as about you, make additions that you know the person is going to like. It’s just as much about them as it is about you, Hrabe says. Be sure to build and decrease tempo methodically.

Another aspect that Matt Falkenstein, Lawrence senior, likes to keep in mind is retaining subtlety. If he’s trying to implant romantic ideas in the ears of his audience, he doesn’t bust out overt classics, such as Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get it On.”

The personal touch

Once you have your track list and your chosen format ready to go, one part that’s a must is to add a personal touch. Roseberry would record his voice over instrumental breaks on his mixes and make them sound like radio broadcasts. Hrabe designs new album artwork for every mix he makes.

Freund-Schwartz has gone so far as to record bits of dialogue off a television in hopes of referencing an inside joke. For the recipients, going the extra mile means everything.