Tuesday, February 24, 2009
If the ancient Mayans are to be believed, the world will end in 46 months. My knowledge on the matter is limited to a short trailer for the upcoming film “2012.” So, as I understand it, the Himalayas will be flooded, monks will ring very large bells, and the world’s governments will not be able to do anything about either.
This all seems like a very unfortunate possibility. But it may be preferable to the grim future ahead in the wide world of television. Let me explain.
Last Friday night, Conan O’Brien said farewell to the “Late Night” job and New York City. He’ll take over “The Tonight Show” starting June 1. This would ordinarily be great news: Conan is hilarious and will be replacing the tragically mediocre Jay Leno. In reality, however, it’s bittersweet.
Rather than retire to his 100-car garage, Jay Leno will return to NBC with a nightly talk show that will air at 9 p.m.
There are two reasons this is being inflicted upon society: One, NBC was worried Leno would take his sizable and easy-to-please fan base with him to another network, and two, it’s just cheaper and easier to have five hours of Jay Leno in prime time rather than a bunch of scripted dramas and comedies.
Therein lies the dangerous trend. The conventional wisdom these days is that networks will forgo the expensive and arduous task of trying to create quality television in favor of thrifty lineups filled with nothing but intelligence-insulting reality shows, intelligence-insulting game shows and intelligence-insulting Jay Leno shows.
It’s not a pleasant outlook for those of us who enjoy well-written and thoughtful television. (Yes, such a thing does exist. You just have to look for it.)
Mediocre is just too easy to sell. It’s less threatening than the exploitative reality trash of the past and less difficult than the scripted shows of today.
That’s why I’m going to pitch to you, the reader, some of my ideas for shows. They’re the wave of the future!
“The Real Office”: Get a peek into the thrilling day-to-day travails of a real-life office. Be entertained as the boss is fired and sued after an out-of-character off-color remark to a female employee!
“Howie Get By”: Another hilariously punny series hosted by Howie Mandel puts our hero in a homeless person’s shoes (or lack thereof) and watches as he panhandles on American street corners. Will he scrounge enough change for a pack of cigarettes? Tune in to find out!
“Extreme Makeover: Dancing with the Stars Edition”: It’s “Extreme Makeover” meets “Dancing With The Stars”! (Just watch it, OK.)
“The Search for America’s Next Reality Star”: Finally, a talent search without the annoying pretense of a search for talent!
“The Search for America’s Next Reality Star Update Show”: Missed this week’s episodes of TSFANRS? Watch the two-hour update show every Thursday night to catch up on the latest developments!
“Cats Doing Things”: It’s half an hour of cats doing things.
— Nichols is an Overland Park sophomore in creative writing.
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irishswearingen (anonymous) says...
Ha, Ha, Ha, I love the Cats Doing Things, I just might tune in for that. I agree with you that television is getting pretty boring. I get something like two hundred channels on cable and sometimes I can't find anything to watch. I really like MSNBC and turn it on first thing as I am a news junkie. Next comes sports which is good reality TV, and then the sci-fi channel for the movies. I really love it when they do the marathon thing and you get a choice between, say, twenty-four hours of the vigilante movies, or I Love Lucy. Oh, come on!
February 26, 2009 at 10:03 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )