The days of barking teachers with smacking rulers are long gone, and interpersonal relationships in the classroom can span from Facebook-adding buddies to cold authoritative overseers. But what sort of student-teacher relationship is best for learning? And more importantly, what do students desire from their teachers and professors?

Relationships between students and teachers evolve dramatically from early elementary school all the way to graduate programs. Robert Harrington, professor of psychology and research in education, explains that elementary school teachers play the role of educator, nurturer and safety supervisor; teachers have to keep structure in a classroom with children in order to establish organization and to foster proper socialization and behavior management.

As children grow up and gain independence, a teacher’s role changes to provide an environment that allows students to make their own choices about their education. This freedom can be a blessing and a curse when it comes to establishing an authoritative line between teacher and student and creating an adequate learning environment. In lieu of the heavier supervision and nurture, as seen in elementary school, students can control their own learning in college.

But students often feel that their overall classroom experience is enhanced when teachers become people—when teaching goes beyond the lecture and notes. Nicole Simms, St. Louis, Missouri, senior, connected with an English professor when she discovered their mutual love of running. Simms felt that her professor understood her on a level that most teachers don’t because of what they had in common outside of the classroom. They both ran in the same half marathon and Simms saw her teacher in a different light.

“Seeing your professor running the same race as you takes him down to your level. He wasn’t only my teacher anymore but a fellow runner, a really good one at that. I could look up to him in more ways than one, and that was really cool,” she says.

Student-teacher relationships can also vary depending on the type of class or department. Pat McCahon, Overland Park senior and creative writing major, says his major requires a closer relationship with his teachers because of his major.

Writing is a sensitive subject to teach McCahon says. If a teacher seems distant from a student, the self-esteem the writer needs just isn’t happening, he says.

“Not everyone is born to be writer,” McCahon says. “Hell, maybe I’m one of the unlucky few, but, it’s that relationship with the teacher that makes me unafraid to try harder.”

But classroom wants and needs are not just the students’ concern. Teachers and professors also have their own ideas about what works best for students and what sort of relationship is most beneficial for students and teachers. Steve Ilardi, professor of psychology, often looks back on his own college years to remember what he wanted from his professors.

“The professors I remember the most are the ones who reached us with an infectious passion,” he says. “They cared about my development as a person.”

Ilardi says that teaching is an ever-evolving process and he constantly adapts to find out what works and what doesn’t in his classroom. He says making himself available to students outside of class and setting up expectations are effective strategies for creating a healthy student-teacher relationship.

“To me, the most meaningful moments every week come from time with students,” he says.

Joey Sprague, professor of sociology, fears that our education system is becoming more passive, where material is merely unloaded onto students who are then expected to understand the information without much engagement. She says the key to a healthy student-teacher relationship is mutual effort and hard work.

“The most effective relationship is one where everyone has responsibilities. The teacher has to be responsible for knowing the material and presenting it in a way that promotes learning and the students have to take responsibility for being actively involved in their learning and asking for her help when needed,” she says.

But Sprague says when a relationship passes friendly and becomes friendship, boundaries are crossed and goals are misconstrued.

“I think teacher-student relationships should remain professional,” says Sprague. “I’m very nervous about people who cross the line.”

The line between an open, friendly relationship and a friendship is easily blurred when a teacher invests his or her time and energy into a student. When someone takes an active interest in students’ well being, it is difficult to avoid getting personal.

Sometimes it can send the wrong message, say Harrington, professor of research in education. Individual attention can be misread as special attention, he says.

Harrington explains that a major issue in education today is the question of what exactly is being taught. An education consists of more than textbooks and chalkboards and tends to venture into more inexplicable lessons that often aren’t entirely based on academics. Teaching is more than just the transmission of information and it is the intangible effects, Harrington says, that really make a difference to a student’s relationship with a teacher.

“Those have to do with attitude, approach, values and ethical style, which are hard to grapple with.”

Those sorts of attributes are the ones students often remember most about a class or teacher—their eye contact, the way they phrase their questions or their overall presence in the classroom. It’s not necessarily the material, but the subtle messages a teacher delivers alongside it.

Joel Cowart, Los Angeles senior, was inspired to change his major because of a teacher who noticed his potential and talent in another area.

“She guided me on how to get everything I’d need to succeed as a physics major and on the many programs that were available to me. I love her to life,” he says.

Regardless of whether a teacher’s style is more passive or interactive, or whether a teacher becomes a friend, it is the everlasting effect that makes the biggest difference in students’ lives

“At the heart of the matter, you can tell if someone cares or not,” Cowart says.