I had a boyfriend since my junior year of high school. I’m just recently single, and not sure how to start dating again. I can’t judge anymore how fast to move or when to take the next steps. How do you get back into the dating groove? Michelle, sophomore

Elliot: Well, Michelle, trust me when I say you’re not the only one. Even people who have found themselves in the dating pool for a long time have issues with knowing when and how to take any number of steps. But it seems to me that your first concern should be to actually enter the pool itself. So go ahead … jump in! Odds are you’ll find dating is like riding a bike; you’ll pick it back up again quickly and probably remember how fun it can be to learn about someone new. Sure, there might be speed bumps. After all, everyone needs a significant rebound period after any lengthy romantic tryst. The only other thing I’d suggest you keep in mind is the necessity for patience. You’ve just come off of quite a long relationship. Don’t expect every guy you meet at your favorite watering hole to potentially be “the one.”

Carly: Honestly, I wouldn’t worry about jumping back into the dating pool just yet. Go have some fun being single. Coming out of a serious, long-term relationship can be a liberating experience. This is especially true if you were the one who initiated the breakup. Take some time for yourself so you can learn what you really want out of your next relationship. Reconnecting with friends you may have neglected is also very important. Once you get tired of paying for your own dinners, don’t stress about the right way to get your groove back. Like Elliott said, no one really knows what they’re doing anyway, so you’re not alone. Every relationship starts in its own way and moves at its own pace. The only rule that is universally applicable to everyone is to go with what your gut tells you. No one can accurately gauge how you feel but you.

I’m the friend people always come to for advice. (Yes, I recognize that this question is ironic.) The problem is that when people ask me for advice, they seldom follow it. Should I keep giving my opinion or just shut up? Sam, senior

Elliot: If people don’t want to listen, they won’t listen. Even if they ask questions in the first place. So, I’m sorry Sam. Your friends are putting you in a tight spot by expecting you to dispense wisdom and then ignoring your thoughts. If I was you, I’d stop giving them what they ask for. See how they respond to utter silence. If they’re not phased, then clearly all they want is to hear themselves talk. If, however, their ears perk up with the realization that you’re not saying anything, point out to them that you’ve provided them with plenty of ideas that they did not see fit to pursue. And if some of the questions are pretty much carbon copies of one another (and I’m guessing they are), tell them they already have their answer. Then they’re forced to act or admit that they’re not listening.

Carly: Sometimes, people seek advice when all they really want is for you to tell them what they want to hear. Deep down, they already know what they’re going to end up doing. However, the fact that your friends repeatedly seek your opinion is very important. It shows their trust in you and their respect for you. They wouldn’t keep coming to you if they didn’t feel you had something worthwhile to say, even if they don’t follow your advice. Besides, shutting down when they ask for help is not only rude, but it sends the message that you think you’re 100 percent right and they’re totally wrong. You don’t know every factor that affected their ultimate decision. Perhaps they left out something because they’re ashamed, or maybe just by talking to you, they realized something else about their situation. Just keep being their supportive friend, because they obviously need someone to talk to. Maybe one day they’ll follow your advice.