Tuesday, March 3, 2009
As spring approaches, many students are looking for places to call home next fall. Choosing a residence can mean making a lot of choices one never thought about before. Is proximity to campus worth less square footage? Is a lower rent worth living with three other people? Is the landlord or management company trustworthy? Not to mention deciding whether the actual place is suitable. And for many KU students, deciding whether to live with a significant other can play a large part in the apartment hunting season.
Two years ago my boyfriend and I decided to move in together. We were ecstatic about the idea and quickly found a cute and cozy apartment in West Lawrence. Unfortunately, my boyfriend’s parents promptly shattered our naïve game of house with the news that we would not be allowed to live together. Their reason was a valid one: We’d been together for only three months.
At the time, I had the stereotypical teenage response. I felt that my boyfriend, being a mature 19 years old, had the right to make his own decisions. I felt that they didn’t understand. We were in love, and we were going to be together forever.
Looking back, I know I wasn’t as wise as I thought I was. I’ve learned of many challenges a couple faces living together, and of many that couples face living apart when they are ready to make the step to domestic harmony. College students in particular can have a tough time. Here are some college-specific reasons both for and against the idea.
Reasons not to live together:
1. College life is full of new responsibilities, and moving in with a significant other can add a whole new world of concerns to deal with. Getting good grades while remembering to feed yourself and clean up enough to keep mold from taking over your kitchen can be challenging enough.
2. People change during college; it’s part of what is so great about it. Graduates leave wiser and worldlier than when they started. With all the new challenges one faces throughout college, it’s hard for anyone to leave as the same person. And in the end, changing can mean that a match that used to feel perfect isn’t anymore.
3. Lawrence is not a welcoming place to break up three months into a live-in relationship. You face the difficult task of finding an apartment in November, especially one that won’t land you a lease that ends six months after you graduate.
Reasons to live together:
1. If you spend a lot of time with each other, odds are your belongings will end up strewn across two residences. This can be particularly frustrating when trying to study.
2. Money can become a huge issue. Unless you have a meticulous schedule to plan out visits and sleepovers, someone will end up paying more than the other. Showers and snacks can add up. If he’s always turning up the heater and she’s always using all the toilet paper, tension can arise in an otherwise peaceful relationship.
3. Roommates can be another issue. Problems can arise if a roommate isn’t OK with the amount of time your significant other spends at your place. Disagreements may also come from differing opinions on how to deal with a bad roommate.
Now, two years after we first decided to live together, my boyfriend and I are seriously looking for a place to share. Although we’ve run into many problems, I’m glad we were forced to wait. It’s an important decision to make, but one that seems deceptively easy to the inexperienced.
— Clossin is a Wichita sophomore in secondary English education.
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