Tuesday, March 3, 2009
“They tried to shut me down on MTV, but it feels so empty without me,” says Eminem in 2001’s “Without Me.”
You’re not alone, Mr. Mathers.
On April 4, Metallica and Run-D.M.C. will be among the year’s class of inductees into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Once an essential part of the MTV Generation, these two groups will instead have their induction ceremonies televised on Fuse TV — an affiliate of the Canadian music television network MuchMusic. MTV is likely musing over whether to air “Bromance,” “From G’s to Gents,” or perhaps the always edgy “Engaged and Underage.”
There was once an era, from 1981 up until start of this decade, when MTV meant something. One could believe that its acronym stood for Music Television. Today, in the waking, sober hours of the day, MTV’s musical scope is limited to commercials and turning points on its plotless nighttime soaps.
Consider Monday’s schedule for a representation of MTV’s entire programming slate.
Rolling out of bed, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes and flipping on that corpse of a channel, from 6 a.m. to 9 a.m., you’d be able to enjoy a hefty dose of “My Super Sweet 16” with your Cocoa Puffs.
Back from class at 3 p.m. and ready to unwind, you would find a nice block of mind-numbing, insignificant trash. “Room Raiders.” “Parental Control.” “Sex...with Mom and Dad” (Ye Gods!). With another “Room Raiders” episode at 5:30 followed by 90 minutes of “Made” in time for dinner.
Primetime fodder includes “Making the Band 4” and “America’s Best Dance Crew” — although I’ve never seen an episode of ABDC, those I’ve spoken with get whipped into quite a frenzy when it airs. I’ll be generous. In our revolution, it will stay.
As should “Real World: Brooklyn.” Of course, it’s the original reality show, and for that distinction, it should be punished to the fullest extent of the law for begetting some of the worst television our generation has seen. On the other hand, “The Real World” was an important show and opened up cultural discussion. And while today it may not have that same spark — the Gay One and the Transvestite feel forced and obligatory rather than naturally occurring roommates. Doing away with it would be like eradicating Coca-Cola or shutting down Sports Illustrated.
There was a time when I could do without all channels but MTV. A summer ritual would be to tune in each afternoon to see if Eminem could knock the Barbie dolls and boy bands oout of the top spot on “Total Request Live.” The television would remain on into the wee hours of the morning, long after I had involuntarily fallen asleep.
Those hours are essentially all we have left of Music Television.
And even these days are numbered. I’m not going out on a limb here to predict that MTV will soon dump its late-night schedule for paid programming dollars in an attempt to keep its balance sheet out of the red. Because, let’s face it, nearly everyone in every sector has felt the sting of hard times.
But MTV’s once-loyal viewers felt that sting years ago.
I want my MTV back.
— Montemayor is a Mission junior in journalism, political science and economics.
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