When I get a craving for some ice cream, I sometimes have Matcha powder by my side. I scoop the ice cream in a bowl and add a pinch of the powder. I slowly mix them together in the bowl.

I taste the ice cream. The aroma of green tea spreads in my mouth. It’s bitter at first, but gradually becomes sweet.

“Do you want to try Matcha ice cream?” I offer my boyfriend.

“Huh? What is that?” he asks.

“It’s good, just try it.”

He scoops up the ice cream with a spoon. I quietly watch him finish the bite. “Do you like it?”

“Yeah, it’s good. I like it.” He eats another bite.

I always like to see how my boyfriend, who’s lived all his life in Kansas, responds to Japanese food. Soba noodles, stir-fry with sliced burdocks, seaweed salad—he’s pleasantly surprised every time I introduce different foods and flavors to him.

Cross-cultural exchanges in the kitchen are just one pleasure of having a significant other who comes from another country. These relationships come with their own challenges, but many of the challenges are the same that every couple deals with—such as communication and families—but also the heightened worry for college students of what to do after graduation.

Alyssa Esperance was first attracted to her husband, Fritz-Gerald Esperance, a former KU student, “because he is from somewhere else. He is from Haiti.” Growing up near the military base in Leavenworth, Alyssa, a senior, was exposed to multiple cultures at an early age, and she always wanted to move to a foreign country. Alyssa also says Fritz’s outgoing and laidback personality complements her shy and fretful personality.

People are often attracted to differences and find them refreshing, but those differences can also be the biggest problem for couples later in relationships, says Nomi Redding, clinical social worker in Lawrence.

Alyssa likes Fritz’ laidback personality, but she says she sometimes feels frustrated by miscommunication, which often results from what they see as their culturally different perceptions of time. Though she has a concrete sense of time, she says, he’s more relaxed—“See you in 30 minutes” can mean one or two hours. “It’s important to make sure that the other person is clear about what you’re trying to say,” Alyssa says.

Though it’s important to respect each other’s differences, people in a relationship should share a few core values that keep the relationship strong, says Grete Shelling, coauthor of In Love But Worlds Apart. Born in Austria, Shelling has been married to her American husband for almost 40 years. Although she usually likes to stay at home watching movies and playing the piano, her husband is more outgoing and into American sports. Shelling says their personalities and interests are often different, but going to church every Sunday brings them closer together.

Lindsey Piper, Leavenworth junior, says she tried to find more similarities than differences on her first date with Yasser Alsallom, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, junior. They are both planning to study medicine, they both work hard for school and they are laidback, too.

Before Yasser asked Lindsey out, she didn’t know much about Saudi Arabia and believed the stereotype that Saudi men were controlling. She quickly discarded her stereotype after getting to know Yasser. “He’s very respectable and he’s cute. I kind of wanted to see if things were going a little further and they did,” says Lindsey, who has been dating him for more than a year.

Lindsey comes from a Christian family, and Yasser grew up in a Muslim family. Their different religious backgrounds inspire them to learn about each other’s religious cultures. Whenever Lindsey thinks of a question about Islam, she does research online and asks about Yasser’s opinion. Lindsey says she wasn’t interested in Saudi Arabia before, but now wants to visit the country after hearing Yasser talk about his home.

But not everybody accepts their relationship. “Be careful,” some friends warn her when finding out she’s dating a Saudi man. “I feel a little offended. I’ll say, ‘You know, you guys don’t know him yet. You can’t make these comments,’” she says. “My view is accept our relationship as long as we are happy.”

Lindsey says she was reluctant to tell her parents about Yasser at first, worrying her parents would judge him based on prejudices against Saudi Arabia and Islam. Her parents expressed their hesitancy when she told them about Yasser, but taking him to her parents’ house helped them to accept him and understand more about his background.

Yasser says his parents also approve of their relationship. Dating is a taboo in Saudi Arabia, he says, but his parents have a good understanding about different social norms in the United States and leave him to make his own decisions.

The gap between the cultures does come up sometimes. Lindsey was once having a political discussion with her mother. As it got heated, Lindsey raised her voice, which surprised Yasser. ‘You shouldn’t talk to your mother like that,’ he says he later told Lindsey. She then explained to him that she hadn’t meant to be rude.

Though the couple might not find big challenges in their differences, introducing a foreign girlfriend or boyfriend to the family can be a big event, especially for international students.

Ali Iyican, Famagusta, Northern Cyprus, senior, recently introduced his American girlfriend, Christian Watkins, to his family in Northern Cyprus by way of a Web camera. He says bringing a significant other home is not common in Cyprus. Ali says he had never introduced his girlfriend to his family, and he was nervous. He and Christian, Chanute junior, practiced role-playing conversations several times.

Ali translated the conversation between his family and Christian. They didn’t talk much, but from their big smiles, he could tell his family liked her. Right after the video conversation, Christian received gifts from his family, including a ring with Nazarlik, a Cyprian amulet meant to protect against the evil eye.

Redding, clinical social worker, says some parents can seem less accepting and flexible with another culture. She says meeting in person or talking on the phone or through a Web camera will help relieve parents’ stress and create better communication, because such communication allows them to see their child’s partner as a person rather than a foreigner. If parents are still not accepting, she suggests finding allies who can bridge the relationship between the partner and parents. This includes siblings, uncles and aunts.

Michael Davidson, former KU student and senior at Loyola University New Orleans, has gone to Germany twice to visit his girlfriend and her family.

Michael and Anne Stahr started dating four years ago when she was a foreign exchange student in his high school in Russell. Anne recently moved to the United States to attend KU to close the gap in their long-distance relationship.

Michael says his German was not fluent, so he was worried he wouldn’t communicate well with her family at first.

Anne’s family was hospitable, he says, but he also found a more formal family dynamic than many American families, and it took him a while to get closer to them. For example, her family always cooked him traditional German food instead of more casual, everyday meals. One evening at the dinner table, Michael made a grammatical mistake, trying to say something such as, “Can you pass me potatoes?” Anne’s parents then teased him for the first time, which he took as a sign of their intimacy with him.

Michael says meeting Anne’s family and staying in Germany helped make the relationship stronger because he got to see the environment in which she grew up and learned the German language intensively. He says he and Anne are thinking of marriage, and he continues studying German so he will be able to move to Germany in the future.

If couples are in a long-term relationship, at some point many of them will have a conversation about marriage and make a future plan, such as where to live and work. Some couples will talk about it when graduating from college, while other couples delay the conversation until they are ready to make a commitment or establish their own careers. For many international couples, however, graduation forces them to make some important decisions in their lives.

I’m graduating in May. My boyfriend doesn’t speak Japanese, so living in Japan is not an option. I don’t mind living in the United States, but I’ll have to either marry him or find a job that can sponsor my visa to stay in the United States. I’m not ready to marry yet. While I look for jobs, at the moment I’m putting off the question: What if I’ll have to go back to Japan?

The option to move or stay isn’t open to all international couples, especially if one partner doesn’t speak the other’s language. However, Astrid Houchin, Lima, Peru, sophomore, took that leap.

Astrid and her husband, Anthony Houchin, 2008 graduate, moved to the United States from Peru in 2003. They met in 2000 in Peru while Anthony was traveling, and they got married after having a three-year long-distance relationship.

Anthony spoke Spanish fluently, but Astrid didn’t speak English. Astrid was pregnant when she just moved to the United States. She didn’t have any family or Peruvian friends here. A friend visited her from Peru when she gave birth and stayed with her for a week. She says it was a big emotional help for her because her family was not able to come from Peru. When her friend left the United States, Astrid separated from her in tears, worrying about challenges that she had to go through to raise a child in the United States.

Astrid says as her English improves, she is making more friends and starting to enjoy her life in the United States. She’s now a student at KU majoring in art.

Astrid and Anthony enjoy food from the two countries, and salsa dancing and meringue. They recently started teaching latin dance to their two children, 5-year-old and 3-year-old boys, both fluent in English and Spanish. They both agree having a partner from another culture is an asset that enriches their lives, and raising children in a multicultural environment is one of the best parts.