Celebritweets: Sarah Silverman

Thursday, November 5, 2009

SarahKSilverman

I know it’s sexist but I think it’s kind of gross when women talk about masturbating. That’s why I’m not going to talk about it.

4:16 PM Oct 28th

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Hello New York City. You’re looking well. I’m very happy to be in you.

4:41 PM Oct 26th

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It’s funny that big muscle guys work out with kettlebells because separately you really can’t find gayer words than “kettle” or “bell.”

7:03 PM Oct 19th

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I am wearing a dress.

12:52 AM Oct 18th

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Tomorrow I’m getting my teeth cleaned. I’m gonna sit down & say “clean my teeth, Stupid.” Then I’ll open my mouth really wide & just wait

11:23 PM Oct 12th

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last row of the plane, against out of order lavatory&in the middle of two strangers. Should anything happen know I died w very little hope.

7:51 PM Oct 11th

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I feel pretty lucky. Thousands of people die every day and it’s never me.

11:53 PM Sep 27th

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Um, my boobs are down here.

1:25 AM Sep 26th

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