Thursday, November 5, 2009
When it comes to urinal etiquette, there are a few simple rules you should follow. First and foremost, when you walk into the bathroom, there should always be one urinal between you and the next man to avoid looking and the nervousness that goes along with thinking you’re being looked at.
Next, to go along with the first rule, simply do not look to your right or your left. There are only two ways you should simply look: straight ahead or straight down. And finally, there is one rule that ends them all: shake twice then flush. This is all you need.
— Phillippe is a Fort Worth sophomore in creative writing.
C’mon guys! There are three urinals in the average KU men’s bathroom. Why is it that one guy decides to use the middle one when he could use the left or right? When you choose the middle, you put the incoming busting bladders in an awkward position because they have to choose which side they will have to intrude your personal bubble.
Instead, you should choose one of the outside porcelain pee palaces so that the next guy can choose the other end and you’ll be two happy peas in a pod. The third guy that comes in will, well, just be getting the wrong end of the deal.
— Roesler is a Denver junior in journalism.
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Comments
Phillipe & Roesler: Urinal etiquette
I wouldn't call it homophobia, linguo. It's more a matter of coming close to another male with your most important and vulnerable part exposed, risking castration. While this isn't a big threat these days, it's something that our ancestors had to consider and it is hard-wired into our brain.
There are university studies during which some lucky grad students sat in bathrooms for hours and observed the way people selected urinals. With the exception of old men past reproductive age and young boys who had not reached it yet, people fall into an arrangement that keeps everyone as distant as possible. It's just automatic.
Phillipe & Roesler: Urinal etiquette
Let's examine whether or not it's homophobia: Would you feel the same way about a girl standing next to you at the urinal using one of those "pee standing up" devices? I sure would. For about the same reason that I don't chew with my mouth open. It's a little undignified.
There, I said it. Urinating is undignified. And honestly, it's a public restroom, so what you are doing is urinating in public. It's just as bad as going out to Wescoe Beach to drain the lizard. One person watching you pee is too many and it has nothing to do with whether or not you want a long stiff... smock, let's call it a smock, in your orifice. Because between you and me, I'm not thinking about sex when I'm standing in front of a urinal. I'm thinking about waterfalls, streams and lakes, ocean tides and the drip of the kitchen sink.
Phillipe & Roesler: Urinal etiquette
So linguo (assuming you're male here,) do you like peeing in close proximity to females? Is it homophobia if I don't? I don't like peeing near anyone, frankly. If I could urinate in private 100% of the time, I would do it.
The study I mentioned offered the castration hypothesis as a reason for why men do not like exposing their privates in the presence of other men. It's a matter of unconscious instinct and makes a bit of sense if one considers the difficulty of successfully passing one's genes on back in the old, prehistoric days. Yank off your neighbor's naughty bits and your chances of successfully passing your genes on are improved. While this kind of behavior is a social faux pas now and probably was in the prehistoric era, men understandably feel that even the small risk of it is grounds for a bit of discomfort.
Phillipe & Roesler: Urinal etiquette
Linguo has it right about urine everywhere. Get control of your fire hoses kiddos. If you can't go standing up without getting pee on the floor, go sit down on a toilet and take care of your business. And for God's sake: FLUSH THE TOILET. Who wants to deal with your nasty waste. If you feel the need to line the seat with tissue, flush that afterwards too. If you don't want to touch it, what makes you think anyone else wants to. If you leave the liner, you have effectively rendered that particular toilet unusable until the custodial staff comes in--and sometimes that is pretty late in the day. I swear, some of the restrooms in the buildings on campus are worse than a Junior High.
And P.S. WASH YOUR HANDS!!!!!
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