Professor: Have you ever had a professor text during a lecture? I think I might do it to freak people out.

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Guy: I’m going to get a tramp stamp that says "Dezmon."

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Girl: I get really irritated that my eyebrows don’t match.

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Guy: I don’t know what I’m going to do all day tomorrow. I can only play with myself for so long.

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Guy 1: I’m going to kickball class
.

Guy 2: Is that legit?


Guy 1: Yeah we warm up and stuff.

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Girl: Are you going to Abe and Skanks tonight?

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Girl 1: It’s all about control and being on top
.

Girl 2: Once you’ve got control you can do anything.

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Girl 1: The best way to get over a guy is to get under another one.


Girl 2: True that.



—

Guy 1: I wish there were ski resorts here.


Guy 2: Well there’s definitely not …