Monday, November 30, 2009
Let’s talk about something totally cliche in life, especially in college: curiosity and experimentation, or as my friend Julia jokingly puts it, “LUGS.”
What is a LUG? A LUG is a “lesbian until graduation.” These are women who date or sleep with other women until they graduate college, whereupon they revert back to the hetero-normativity that is expected of them by society. They are part of the bi-curious or “questioning” category — what most people who are curious about the same sex, but not sure if it’s really for them, are commonly called.
Bi-curiosity is just as normal as any other kind of experimentation. You come to college and take different classes and try to decide on a career path. You may also indulge in other new and exciting activities. You know, alcohol, minor drugs, new religions or making out with someone of the same gender.
Although these may have crossed your mind before, you were unable to pursue them until the freedom offered by college life came around. Curiosity is as natural as breathing. If you happen to be of the bi-curious nature and remain unsure of how to pursue your new-found interests, here are some tips.
If you are a man curious about other men, just blast showtunes, ABBA or Barbra Streisand from your room and see who shows up at your door. If you are a woman curious about other women, consider the Indigo Girls or Tegan and Sara.
iPhone also makes a “gaydar” application that will show other people in your area who have the same application.
On a more serious note, if you are truly curious, get to know someone in the LGBT community, which on our campus, is not hard. We have an active LGBT student group, Queers and Allies, as well as local gay-friendly establishments such as Henry’s on Eighth and Wilde’s Chateau. It’s all about networking.
If person-to-person contact isn’t your kind of thing or even if you’re a little shy, no worries. That’s why we have the Internet. There are plenty of Web sites where you can connect with gays everywhere. Personal recommendations for the ladies: afterellen.com and autostraddle.com. For men: afterelton.com or connexion.org.
The best way to approach your curiosity is to put yourself out there. Most of us in the gay community are used to curiosity. After all, we were once ourselves. And believe me, we’re more than willing to share our own stories and experiences with you. We understand the curious thoughts and feelings, and you will find plenty of support within the community in whatever way you need to fulfill your curiosity.
It’s not a crime to kiss someone of the same gender and decide it’s not for you any more than it is to find you like it more than you thought you would. Heck, that’s how it happened for me during a game of Truth or Dare.
Whether it’s connecting with a gay acquaintance, using the Internet or playing a game, there are many ways in which to indulge your curiosities. Just don’t be afraid. Like I said, it’s natural. Hope to see you “out there.”
— Bornstein is a Lawrence senior in women’s studies and sociology.
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Comments
Bornstein: Don’t be afraid to be bi-curious
I always enjoy reading your column in the paper. Especially this week. Thanks for the heads up on autostraddle.com! I love afterellen, but I'd never heard of autostraddle, it's great
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