Thursday, September 10, 2009
In the quest for better sex a lot of us will experiment with different sexual positions, trying to find the right one. We buy a “position of the day” book or a Kama Sutra book in which we tackle the “hidden monkey” or the “praying dragon.”
But in this week’s article I will argue that in heterosexual relationships, the standard woman-on-top position still offers both sexes the greatest opportunity for increased pleasure. Don’t get me wrong, I think that experimenting with positions is a great thing. Experimentation can add a major spark to a sexual relationship. But the standard woman-on-top position allows both sexes to effectively stimulate their erogenous zones. This position involves the woman facing the man — sometimes sitting upright on the man — as he is lying down on his back.
Relationship researcher Mike Anderson lays out his plan to tackle the sticky world of relationship advice, one weekly Jayplay column at a time.
Anderson, Dellwood, Minn., graduate student, is the host of Kansas in Heat, a talk show about sex and relationships that airs Wednesdays at 8 p.m. on KJHK, 90.7fm and at kjhk.org.
The opinions of this columnist do not necessarily reflect the views of Jayplay. Kansas in Heat is not to be considered a substitute for professional help.
It works for the woman because:
1) The woman can control the speed and the depth of penetration, which a lot of women like. The woman gets the feeling of being in control and many guys like when the woman takes charge.
2) The woman is still in a position where the man can stimulate her clitoris with his hand or a sex toy. This is important because only about 50 to 60 percent of women can orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone.
3) From this position the woman can still lie on top of the man and be as close as she chooses if she wants to get more intimate.
It works for the man because:
1) The man isn’t flexing or contracting many muscles in this position, so he can last longer. For a man, the more tense his muscles are the less likely he will be able to control when he ejaculates. Besides the relaxation of the muscles, it is much easier to breathe deeply and slowly from this position. Deeper breaths also help him relax and last longer.
2) The man gets a great full frontal view of the woman, which is very erotic. It also allows the man to stimulate her clitoris and breasts/nipples with a fair amount of ease.
3) The man is always ready to move to a sitting position where both partners are sitting. Though this might not allow some men to get the right amount of penetration they desire, it is still a position that produces great sensations. The ability to sit up and lie down quickly could be very important to exploring different sensations with ease.
Though we all get anxious and eager to explore the realm of possibilities when it comes to sexual positions, it is often the simplest positions that have the potential for the greatest pleasure. According to popular magazines such as Cosmopolitan and Men’s Health, the woman-on-top position is the favorite position for the majority of women and is in the top three for guys. When looking at the possibilities that this position gives us, I can understand why.
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