Thursday, September 17, 2009
I want to be as clear as I can with this statement — pick-up lines do not work.
I’ve read all the books that the pick-up community has to offer and not one of these methods advocates using pick-up lines. These cheesy, clichéd phrases come off as creepy and often uncomfortable. They are not to be used. Though I don’t agree with some of the advice in these pick-up books, I do believe that most contain valid tips on how to hit on people correctly. I’ll paraphrase some of that information here.
1) Have confidence. Confidence is attractive and powerful. It helps you stay in control of your emotions and enjoy the moment. Your looks have little to do with your ability to pick-up who you want. Don’t sit and stare at someone for a long time thinking you should go up and hit on him or her. Within the first couple of seconds of noticing someone, go up and make contact. Don’t fear rejection.
2) Build rapport — not just with the person who you’re hitting on, but everyone in his or her group. Engage with everyone in a group. Don’t just single out one person among the pack. Talk to everyone and show enthusiasm. For example, the friends of the person that you want some alone time with will not let him or her go unless they feel some level of connection with you. When you talk to people you should always be building trust and comfort. Trust + Comfort = Rapport. This is why pick-up lines don’t work — they build neither. Show people you have value and establish rapport.
3) Bestselling author Neil Strauss, who bills himself as “the world’s greatest pick-up artist,” taught me the last item in building a strong pick-up foundation directly in a personal e-mail. The lesson he passed on was simple: “The guy who succeeds at the game is the one who goes out and makes other people feel good about themselves.”
Whatever tactic to picking-up women or men you use, know it is important to be confident, build rapport and radiate positive energy. Flirting, small talk, and initiating romantic relationships are very fun things to do. Enjoy yourself while doing them; don’t be nervous. The rewards far outweigh the risks.
Kansas in Heat (online version): Fortune favors ...
Relationship researcher Mike Anderson tackles the sticky world of relationship advice, one ...
Kansas in Heat: Picking up a bartender
Tackle the sticky world of relationships.
Essential life skills: The bar pick-up
In case of emergency, read quickly.
Essential life skills: The bar pick-up
In case of emergency, read quickly.
No holds barred: The secret life of ...
It might be one of the most recession-proof jobs in America.
'How you doin'?'
Approaching women can be as simple as using a pickup line, but ...
Kansas in heat: Wooing with humor
Relationship researcher Mike Anderson tackles the sticky world of relationship advice, one ...
KU calls on 'dating doctor' for relationship ...
David Coleman, a nationally known speaker on relationships, talks to students about ...
The pheromone phenomenon
Using a sixth sense to smell a lover.
Bitch and Moan
Your brain on the Book
The psychological appeal and effect of Facebook
Hartz: Rules of the road when you’re ...
Cashiers notice your dirty habits; take note and our advice.
Free For All: November 14, 2007
Dear guy in line with 110 IDs at today’s KU vs. MU ...
Love from a distance
Even when miles apart, couples can still make relationships work.
Accelerated affection
Speed dating is a night to remember for some students.
Kansas in Heat: Goodbye & Good luck
Mike Anderson, Dellwood, Minn. graduate student, and Michelle MacBain, Kansas City, Kan., ...
Castle: Really gay advice...on staying dry
Ways on how to stay cool during hot Kansas weather
‘I lost my number, can I have ...
It’s safe to say that using a pick-up line is not the ...
Blog: Basic Training
Reporter Kelly Stroda is spending six days at Ft. Leavenworth and Ft. ...
Therapy is for everybody
De-stigmatizing negative assumptions about counseling and psychotherapy.
Kansas in Heat: No more bad advice
Relationship researcher Mike Anderson gives his plan to tackle the sticky world ...
Thomas was recruited to rebound, but thinks ...
Coach Bill Self recruited freshman forward Quintrell Thomas to dominate under the ...
From foster child to college grad
Former foster children face a difficult road in college.
Free For All: October 4, 2007
To the guy who just stopped in front of me on the ...
To hell and back
A fight outside Naismith Hall began Thor Nystrom's year-long journey into the ...
Lawrence's landlord: a developer's story
Doug Compton, owner of First Management, has helped guide Lawrence's development for ...
The science of attraction
Use Darwin as your wingman: Evolutionary theory unlocks the secrets to attraction.
Put Up Your Dukes
Your hands are talking about you and you probably don’t even know ...
Digital Deception
Simple lies that effect our social interactions
Q&A: Chris Allen goes from Lawrence to ...
Chris Allen, a 2006 KU graduate, moved to Los Angeles after getting ...
Free For All: October 29, 2007
College is evolving. We have Easy Mac instead of Ramen. Way to ...
Overcoming sexual taboo
How couples deal with fetishes
Reichert: Why your dates are going horribly ...
Bitch & Moan
with Carly Halvorson and Elliot Kort
The Buc starts here
After troubled past, former Jayhawk Talib is ready to live his dream ...
Free: Time to clear up some misunderstandings ...
Here are a few word that should enlighten the enlightened.
Bitch & Moan
Good Afternoon Mrs. E
One-hundred-and-thirty-seven buildings occupy the 1,000-acre Lawrence campus and more than 100 are ...
Knutsen: Pseudo-intellectuals, judge me no more
Discussion classes frequently harbor the most obnoxious person on campus - the ...
Hooking up after spring break
'As the hibernation of winter wears off and hormones unthaw, some guidance ...
Kansas Jayhawk fans hold aloft a reproduction of ...
2 comments
Erin Saupe, a Ph.D. student from St. Cloud, ...
1 comment
0 comments
Armed robbers continue to threaten.
3 comments
Lecture from Greg Mortenson, co-author of New York ...
0 comments
KUnited presidential candidate Libby Johnson and vice presidential ...
1 comment
Comments
Use the comment form below to begin a discussion about this content.
Sign in to comment
Or login with:
OpenID