GUY: If you fall in the lake I’ll save you. It’ll be like Titanic. I’ll be Leo and you’ll be Kate.

GIRL: No, because then you’d have a picture of me naked. (pause) And you’d die.

GIRL 1: How were the naked people today?

GIRL 2: We only saw, like, one butt.

GIRL 1: Did you just say your mom died and your brother’s coming over?

GIRL 2: What? No! I said my mom, dad and brother are coming over. Geez!

PROFESSOR: If you’ve ever worked with kindergarteners, you know they love playing with their poop.

GIRL 1: Well, I beg to differ.

GIRL 2: Well, I differ your differ!

GUY: There’s a lot on my plate.

GIRL 1: Eat it!

GUY: That’s what she said.

GIRL 2: Oh gross!

GIRL: Embrace your smell.

GIRL 1: I think I should move to Utah, because I’d like to marry a lot of hot guys.

GIRL 2: What, are there a lot of hot guys in Utah?