Wednesday, April 28, 2010
In conversations with friends who are also studying abroad, we often seem to have experienced the same problem. We feel as though we’re losing contact with old friends and we have trouble finding friends in our new environments.
I think this obstacle can be tied back to one thing: People are losing faith in relationships.
In high school, we built solid friendships based on pure character. Often we had grown up with the same people in close-knit communities. Communication was natural.
However, in college, we associate our peers simply as classmates. In workplaces, we see each other as colleagues and competitors.
Worst of all, society seems to encourage this kind of behavior. Office workers grumble that the office is like a battlefield and the losers are those who naively trust their colleagues.
A good friend of mine, who is studying in Las Vegas, told me about his hardship in searching for a close friend.
"Las Vegas is a sleepless town and I can find all sorts of entertainment. But, I still search for a true friend," he said. "People always have masks up. I don't feel comfortable to open up to them."
He described to me that he thought he had found a good group of friends. Only after a while did he realize these “friends” were more interested in material goods than real friendship.
Last time my friend and I got together, we couldn't stop teasing each other about the follies of youth. We shared a long sigh at end the conversation, tacitly agreeing that once we stepped out of our childhood playgrounds, pure and innocent friendship became more difficult to attain.
Without mutual childhood experiences and similar upbringing environment, it's relatively tough to click with every newcomer to our lives. Instead of focusing on continually expanding a social network, some people choose to reconnect with old friends. But, even this strategy can lead to disappointment.
Another friend of mine isn't surprised by this issue.
"No one can stick with the same group of friends forever. As we grow up and our needs and wants change, so do our friends," he commented. "We move on."
This friend is an extremely gregarious person who claimed to know almost two-third of passers-by walking on Massachusetts Street.
"I cannot live without being with friends. Honestly, I know most of them are fair-weather friends, but who cares? As long as we both have fun together, that's the basic function of a friend."
I find the views of both of my friends to be quite extreme. In my dictionary, a "friend" can be defined as broadly as an acquaintance or as uniquely as a soulmate. I strive to keep in contact with old friends. I also don't refuse to make new friends, because I know things don’t always stay the same.
Recently, I asked two of my good friends if they will fly from Taiwan to attend my wedding in Macau one day. They both answered, "Why not?"
Although I know we will go our own directions after graduation, I am comforted by the idea of this potential future reunion.
As for now, I am glad to treasure our happy moments and attach my faith to our friendship.
Whether they will really attend my wedding is still unknown, but I look forward sitting at a round table with them someday, talking about our new lives and teasing each other with our stupid old jokes.
— Ho is a junior from Macau, China, in journalism.
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