Friday, March 12, 2010
By this point in the week, we’re all dead tired of tests.
There’s nothing worse than looking at an empty line, knowing you have no idea what the answer is, and begrudgingly writing down a guess on the slight chance your teacher has pity for your weary mind.
But there’s another test on Sunday that’s full of empty blanks that I can’t wait to fill in.
It’s Selection Sunday, and filling out 65 spaces is never more fun. Of course, there are strategies for bracket prediction.
Some are wise. No. 1 seeds have never lost in the first round. A No. 12 seed nearly always beats a No. 5 seed in the first round — it happened three times last year.
Others are foolish, but can be effective. I lost a bracket pool because a woman owned two husky dogs. Thus, she loved the Connecticut Huskies and rode them to the title game. I threw a lamp after Duke’s Trajan Langdon slipped and cost me another bracket pool title.
It seems like the radical bracket always looms near the top of the standings after the first and second weekends. People who couldn’t care less about college basketball fill in their brackets arbitrarily and do better than those who leave permanent indentions on their couches after Big Monday.
I follow college basketball, but this year, I’m going to stray away from conventional bracket picking where, you know, you try to use basketball knowledge. I’m going to be That Guy, the one who picks upsets because of jersey color, mascot ferocity or school location.
It will be some combination of the following strategies:
Teams That Didn’t Lose That Much Should Do Better Than Teams That Lost A Lot: It seems simple at the surface, but the depth is what makes the strategy special. Is Murray State (30-4) as good of a team as Texas (24-8)? On paper, in the program and in layup lines — no. But you have to ignore your instinct to win bracket pools, and Murray State’s got the winning mentality. I’ll take them to go farther than the losing Longhorns.
The Dartboard: No, the title isn’t misleading. I watched a friend do this with much success one year. You write up all the teams seeded between 10-13 in random order on a piece of paper, pin the paper up so the names face the wall and throw three darts at the sheet. The teams that the darts hit are your upset specials. You must pick them to win five games total.
The Unquantifiable “Feel” Strategy: Again, rather simple. If you’re “feelin’” Duke, ride them until you don’t feel them anymore. Each matchup has a distinct vibe, and only the bracketeers seeking this vibe can sense it. When you fill out by feel, you eliminate the stress. Moves that don’t make sense will by the weekend.
Surely, by attempting this illogical bracket strategy, I will crash and burn to last place in my bracket pool and be the April Fool until the tournament ends.
But the process of filling the bracket out will be infinitely better than any test.
Friday YouTube sesh
It’s cheesy, cookie-cutter and takes forever to start.
But I never miss CBS’s “One Shining Moment.” Jennifer Hudson will be the voice of the song this year, replacing Luther Vandross, who has sung it for the past couple of years.
The song helps fans relive the key moments from the tournament.
A Kansas fan decided to spin this idea. He created a Mizzou “One Shining Moment” video, but the moments aren’t too shining. Instead, they’re rather embarrassing.
Search “Mizzou One Shining Moment” and prepare to watch the lowlights of the Missouri basketball and football programs.
— Edited by Ashley Montgomery
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