Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Introduction | Keeping the faith | Breaking a lease beats breaking a marriage contract | Going against the grain
Seven months ago, Brant, a sophomore from Topeka, was expecting a marriage proposal from her boyfriend, Basgall. Now, she’s locked in an apartment lease with her no-longer would-be fiancé.
Brant and her ex-boyfriend Basgall were together for a year and a half before they moved in together. She was studying music education at Missouri Southern State University when she decided to transfer to the University of Kansas to be with Basgall.
“Even though it’s a stupid reason, I will tell anyone it was the best decision ever,” Brant said.
The couple had talked about getting engaged and decided to move in together in the fall of 2009. Brant said her parents did not like the idea of the two moving in together before marriage.
“At one point they did tell me Jesus isn’t proud of me,” Brant said. “But at some point your parents have to let you go. They knew I loved him so they went with the flow and let me live my life.”
Despite her parent’s feelings, Brant and Basgall moved into an apartment in October.
The relationship ended a few weeks later.
“There was no big reason, it was just a bunch of little things,” Brant said. “I think after being with someone for so long you just get used to where you are. I was holding on for the good times that we had. After a while, there were more bad times or not being in sync.”
Now the two are joined by a lease and living in the same apartment until November. They have separate bedrooms but share a bathroom as well as other living spaces.
“We weren’t immediately best friends but we’ve slowly progressed to being friends again,” Brant said. “He’s a great roommate and a great guy.”
Before the break-up, Brant, 19, and Basgall, 22, had a wedding date picked out — the first Saturday in June after she graduates in 2012.
“I just really loved Matt, and, even though he did a lot of things that annoyed me, I just kind of put them aside,” Brant said. “Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you’re supposed to be with them.”
Now, Brant has a new boyfriend who she has known for years and he sometimes comes over to the apartment.
“I’m sure he doesn’t love it but I’m not trying to rub it in his face or anything,” Brant said of Basgall.
Before Brant and her new boyfriend, Zack Walker, officially started dating, she made sure he knew she wasn’t moving out of her apartment with Basgall. She also assured him that her relationship with Basgall was purely platonic.
Brant said she didn’t regret moving in with Basgall.
“I didn’t move in with him to test him out or anything,” she said. “I moved in because I loved him and wanted to spend time with him.”
Now, she tells friends who are thinking about living with their boyfriends before marriage that she has no regrets that she did.
“Even though we did break up, I don’t think it was a mistake,” she said. “He’s going to make somebody really happy.”
Introduction | Keeping the faith | Breaking a lease beats breaking a marriage contract | Going against the grain
— Edited by Melissa Johnson
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