Thursday, May 6, 2010
Last month, College News suggested going outside, exercising, telling jokes, playing games, and massages to avoid finals week stress. While this all sounds well and good, my associate Web producer and I want to share some of the ways we personally get through the week. By the way, these views are not reflective of the University Daily Kansan’s or of most sane human beings.
How to Survive Finals Week
• Stay signed in to Facebook at all times
Why wouldn’t you want to know that your ex-boyfriend’s best friend’s cousin recently broke up with his girlfriend? It matters! Right? …Right?
• Have Mom on speed dial
Just in case you’re feeling inadequate and like you’re going to cry, call mommy and ask her for a quick boost of confidence… because that’s what she has to do.
• Consume mass quantities of coffee
“OH MY GOD I’M SO MOTIVATED AND I CAN FINISH ARISTOTLE’S POLITICS IN TWO HOURS! Hey, look! New friend request!”
A typical five minute break during a week of finals consists of the necessary elements: Coffee, caffeine, cigarettes and Facebook. Along with these four lifesavers, check out our other honest approaches to surviving the wrath of finals week. Photo by Kayla Regan
• Stay away from sharp objects
In a state of insanity, it’s better to be safe than sorry.
• Sleep as little as possible
You never know what kind of hallucinations you’ll have after two days without sleep. Creativity will be parading through your brain.
• Chain smoking
Your lungs are thirsty and a smoking habit gives you a good excuse to step outside (20 feet away from entrances, mind you) and forget about the 50 pages you still have to read.
• Procrastination makes perfect
Putting things off will only make it more important later. Besides, Maury is on.
• Keep a friend nearby
You’ll probably be falling asleep in the Anschutz library at some point. It’s not a pleasant place to wake up alone.
Happy finals, everyone. We'll see you in the summer.
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