Girl 1: Last night this guy said he’d buy me a drink if I let him motorboat me.

Girl 2: Ugh, what’d you say?

Girl 1: (shrugs) I was thirsty.

Guy 1: Dude, your little sister is sexy. What’s her deal?

Guy2: She used to be my little brother.

Guy1: That shit is painful.

Guy 2: So is cunnilingus.

Girl1: I taught him that word last night, guess it’s a keeper.

Professor: Seriously guys, a well-tailored British accent is all you need to get laid in the States.

Girl 1: Anyone just want to stay in and play scrabble or something tonight?

Guy 1: Hmmm…..

Girl 2: How many points would I get for the word ‘Ihopeyoudontruingmycollegeexperienceyouboringwhore’?

Guy: Jesus, it’s stickier than Big Foot’s grundle out here.

Professor: Go out there and be somebody!

Guy 1: Is this guy fucking serious?

Girl 1: We need more toilet paper!

Girl 2: You need to eat less Taco Bell!

Guy 1: God, you’re a dick.

Guy 2: Shut up, ass-gnome.

Professor: You both suck, now be quiet.