Q. How can I pick up a bartender without sounding like everyone else?

A. It’s tough isn’t it? Bartenders, like waiters, are difficult to flirt with and/or seduce. You could go the creative route and try some snappy dialogue when the place isn’t busy. But I’m a fan of the social-proof route.

 If you really like this bartender then try to make friends with people who work there. I’m not saying go to this bar every day, but when you do, try to build rapport with the staff. Be genuine. The goal is to have the other bartenders talk about you in a positive light; that way, when your bartender talks to you, he/she may already have a positive view of you. Think of it like first winning over his or her friends.

 At this point, there’s more trust and comfort, which could result in a more flirtatious or even seductive encounter. You could even host a party and invite some of the bartenders, giving you an excuse to also invite him/her to an environment where there is no bar between you. Once you both are no longer in a money-exchanging position, he/she will feel more comfortable to flirt with you.

-Mike

A. My advice is to stay away from bartenders. Similar to musicians, bartenders have the opportunity to bed a lot of patrons; and easily, I might say. Male bartenders may be more guilty of this behavior than female bartenders; therefore, female patrons may be more susceptible. For you men out there, hot female bartenders are the holy grail of hook-ups and not likely to fall for any lines; they have heard them all.

 If you evolve past the initial pick-up and involve yourself in a relationship with a bartender, the perks are fantastic. You always have a seat at the bar, automatic friendship with the other regulars and free drinks. Unfortunately, bartenders continuously encounter temptation. Jealousy and mistrust can be an obstacle in a relationship with a bartender. If you choose to date one and have an ounce of jealousy or mistrust, as the clock turns to 3:45 a.m., that little voice in the back of your head will wonder, “Where is he/she?”

-Michelle