Lawrence, Kan. — I was standing in line outside a bar on a Thursday night waiting for the bouncer to check my ID. Same old Thursday night. But this time, I met someone. I was having a conversation with my friends about seeing Trey Songz in concert, when this good-looking guy behind us joined the conversation. He told me he had seen Trey Songz in concert, too. That definitely earned my interest, and by the end of the night we had exchanged numbers.

The next day he told me he hadn't seen the R&B crooner in concert, but thought it was a good opportunity to make conversation. Whatever he was trying to do, it worked. If you are willing to learn how love and attraction work, you can practice them as skills, says Angel Donovan, chief editor of the Dating Skills Review website. “The great thing about this is that men and women alike are no longer helpless with their love frustrations," he says. "They can, and many do, choose to learn more about it and improve their dating, relationship and love skills.”

Make yourself attractive

Many think you must do certain things to attract someone. But no specific set of rules apply to all women or all men. The only rule is you have to be authentic, says Marni Kinrys, an attraction coach and founder of The Wing Girl Method, a website that helps men attract women. You have to go for what you want. If you start learning these skills at a younger age, it is easier as you get older. "It's really about being comfortable in your own skin," Kinrys says.

Attraction is not only about what you say, how you feel or how you look. Those are cues we respond to in only the first five seconds upon meeting someone. Ultimately, it's about the way you make someone feel about you. To make yourself more attractive, you must first engage in introspection, says Constance Dunn, author of Practical Glamour: Presenting Your Most Beautiful & Polished Self to the World. Think about any feedback you have received in the last year from your friends and family. "There might be something to the fact that four of your friends have told you that your habit of swearing loudly in public embarrasses them, or that you'd look fantastic if you dressed your fine figure in something other than a standard-issue uniform of scuffed Uggs and baggy sweatpants," Dunn says.

Get someone's interest

Relationship expert Edythe Denkin, a member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, says most women still wait to be approached by men. Young girls are taught that if a boy likes you, he will make the first move, Denkin says. But more and more women are becoming assertive and not waiting on the man to make the first move.

Dunn, the attraction coach, says you must get a feel for someone by observing his or her behavior and actions before you make a move. If you want to make a connection, you need to find a way to interact in a way that's comfortable for you. Look into someone's eyes and think warm thoughts, Dunn says.

Alyssa, Overland Park senior, says if she wants to get to know a guy, she asks a lot of questions to find out what he's into. If he really wants to talk about sports, she will give her two cents on sports.

Anthony, a KU graduate from Los Angeles, says if he shares his opinion on something, he wants to hear her opinion too even if it's not the same as his. "Disagreement sparks an entire conversation," Tony says. “If a girl is not afraid to share her opinion on something, that's sexy.”

The Wingman Approach

Sometimes a good approach to attract someone is to enlist the help of a friend, a wingman (or wing woman). The wingman is a coach, a quarterback and motivational creeper who helps his friend build confidence to initiate contact and conversation, says James Holeva, writer of The Wingman Chronicles blog. "The wingman, in many ways, is to creeping, what a talent agent is to a movie star," Holeva says. The wingman's job is to break the ice by striking up a conversation with a girl and her group of friends to get them interested.

A wingman can be helpful in getting the attention of a female. But a wing should play a supporting role, not the lead. The guy looking to meet someone needs to take responsibility for his actions and not leave it up to the wingman, says James Norton, co-owner of Professional Pickup, which provides dating and wingman services. Norton says a wingman works best when a guy wings for a girl and vice versa. A female wing is a great help for a guy looking to meet girls. Female wings may feel more comfortable approaching girls for their guy friend than a male wingman would. Kris, Lawrence senior, says he had an experience with a female wing. The wing was a girl in his class who was trying to help him attract the attention of another girl in their class with whom Kris was interested. Kris says he ended up going out for drinks with both of the girls.

Don't fear rejection

Even if the wing does his or her job correctly, you’re the one who has to make the move. But don’t worry if it doesn’t work out; rejection isn't that bad. Sometimes you may not get a good response. But you will get a better response than not approaching at all, or approaching half-heartedly. "It's about taking ownership of you and what you want," Kinrys, the attraction coach, says.

If you don't have confidence in yourself, you aren't giving anyone a chance to respond at all. Don't put too much time, effort and thought into one person. If someone doesn't respond the way you would like, simply move on to someone else. Dunn, author of Practical Glamour, says if you make an attempt to get someone's attention and he or she isn’t taking your bait, you can at least move on knowing that you gave it your best shot. You haven't been rejected necessarily; you just haven't met your match. You can move on to someone who adores you for you, Dunn says.