Q. My girlfriend and I are new to opening up our relationship and wanted some advice. We’ re both cool with having other people join in sex, but only certain people. She’ s cool with having a guy join us, but not a girl. I’ m cool with having a girl join us, but not a guy. We’ re kind of stuck. I haven’ t been able to convince her to let me bring in a girl. What would you do?

A. I don’t think threesomes strengthen a romantic relationship, but there are exceptions. Some couples can use a third person to jump-start the passion. My advice to you is be patient. Try to incorporate sexual exploration in other areas. The more she sees how beneficial sexual variety can be, the more open she will be to your idea.

 I think most people are hesitant to try most sexual acts that individuals consider “taboo.” Over time, people will become more open to the idea as their relationship gets stronger.

 Engaging in sexual exploration is special and intimate, because it means you trust that person enough to try something he or she hasn’t done with anybody else. That kind of first can strengthen a bond between two people. So be patient. She might not be interested now, but she might be later.

--Mike Anderson

A. I do not recommend inviting a third party into a committed, monogamous relationship. Jealousy, anxiety, miscommunication, confusion, hurt and more can occur after allowing a friend or stranger into your bedroom. I only support a threesome between three (or more) independent, single and consenting individuals.

 I don’t think she wants the threesome. If she does, she would welcome either gender. You will never “convince” her to allow another woman in the bedroom.

 Approach her again with the idea. Agree to the male third, and gage her reaction. If she’s timid and backtracks, she never wanted the threesome.

 But she toyed with the idea, meaning she is invested in your sexual relationship. Why not allow another man or woman in the bedroom in the form of pornography?  

--Michelle Macbain