Q. My fiancé always points out women on TV he thinks are “hot.” It really bothers me. Why does he do this? Why not point out how hot I am?

Mike: My first guess is that he doesn’t realize how often he is doing this. To you, he might be doing it always. To him, he rarely does it.

 I’m woried about how you feel the women on TV are getting more attention than you. I’m sure he thinks you are just as hot as them — he just hasn’t said it lately.

 We all need relational currencies (or displays of affection). Some of us need them as compliments, as physical intimacy or as gifts. Early in relationships we use a variety of relational currencies to build intimacy, but as time passes we tend to fall back on two or three, the ones that work on us.

 Let your partner know what kind of affection you need. Don’t say, “Well, how would you like it if I went around pointing out every hot guy?” That kind of language can hurt the relationship. Instead, let him know how you would really like to hear him say how hot you are. If the problem continues, ask him about it. His reaction will tell you a lot about your relationship.

Michelle: Your fiancé will find other women attractive. You will find other men attractive. Problems only arise if you act upon sexual attraction.

 Pointing out other women from television as “hot” may make you uncomfortable. The first step is to express your feelings to your fiancé. I hope, as compatible partners, communicating a need for comfort and security is not a problem.

 The next time he says, “(Fill in the blank) is so hot,” respond with, “It’s a good thing you found your (fill in the blank) right here.” Consider turning off the TV and leading him into the bedroom.

 Take control and be his ultimate fantasy. If he continues to point out other women, celebrities or otherwise, please reconsider this person as your life-long partner. You deserve daily praises from your partner of your unique beauty, charm and hotness.