Q. My guy loves for me to go downtown. However, I can’t handle it when the area isn’t squeaky clean. I like to make sure that I’m “fresh and minty”. Why does he expect me to go downtown when the street sweepers haven’t been by?

A. I’ll assume by street sweepers you are referring to his odor and not necessarily his taste. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t view his penis or the act of oral sex as dirty. In his mind, he doesn’t need to be squeaky clean. Both sexes have natural odors, and unless a guy has been sweating all day, he might not even be able to smell his goods.

 I understand your desire to be “fresh and minty,” but it is not always possible to shower or bathe before a sexual act. The spontaneity and spice of sex is sometimes too good to interrupt with a cleansing session. Saying to your partner, “I only want to go down on you after you’ve had a shower” does not always sound too sexy, nor does it really help with his self-esteem. Unless he has been rubbing his penis in the dirt, sweating, or any combination of the two, I think it is reasonable to enjoy oral sex without a mandatory shower. If he smells particularly bad then perhaps he should see a doctor about an infection.

 I think you need to be careful with your expectations here. Sex can be a dirty act. If you can only have oral sex with him after he has thoroughly showered, then I would let him know that.

 If it is really a problem for you, then perhaps you could try some shower sex. Maybe changing up his personal hygiene might help both of you. If you’re worried about the taste, you could always mask it by keeping a peppermint or wintergreen hard candy in your mouth before or during fellatio. In the end, however, I find it unrealistic for both sexes to assume the other needs to shower every time they want oral sex.

- MIKE ANDERSON

A. As I’ve stated before, vagina smells (and tastes) like vagina, not flowers, not perfume, not baby powder and not mint. As with the female genitalia, men also have natural odors and some natural bacteria.  

 Some people claim the smell or taste of the lubricant and discharge of the genitals can be altered by diet, the most common claim advocating the consumption of fruits like pineapple. This is sort of true. If you normally consume animal-based foods, processed foods, high amounts of alcohol or caffeine, and smoke, then eating a can of pineapple slices will not affect the taste of your semen or vaginal lubricant. To “change” the way you taste, you need a lifestyle change: a clean vegetarian diet of fresh fruit, vegetables, grains and unprocessed foods, with no caffeine, alcohol or drugs.

 You don’t like the way your man “smells.” If he takes a shower every day, then I can’t imagine the odor is anything but natural sweat and bacteria from his body. If you are noticing anything unnatural about his odor, such as a yeasty smell, then have him pay a quick visit to the doctor for a check-up and STI test to rule out anything related to health or medications.

 Sex is sweaty, sticky, musty and hot. Requiring a shower or “street sweeper” before every sexual encounter will disrupt the heat of the moment coitus.

 Your partner enjoys the pleasure you give him. Don’t rest on the excuse you prefer he smell like Downy April Shower to get out of giving oral sex. Don’t require a plan or regulate sex. Rather, enjoy the act in all its olfactory glory. Or, only go down on him in the shower.

-MICHELLE MACBAIN