FFA of the Day: “Can somebody close the door so I can blend this burrito?”
“If I die before I have a kid, bury me under The Wheel”
”I got roasted for my drink choice at the Eudora Sonic”
“When I die, I don’t want to meet God. I want to meet Elizabeth Warren.”
”God bless Dr. Marijuana Pepsi”
“fist croc reigns”
“One second you're eating cheerios then the next you're getting yelled at”
“I’m full of caffeine and hatred for the patriarchy. i have reached my maximum potential.”
“Sloppy joes always get me going”
“I swear my landlord sends people to work on my house only when I’m naked in the bathroom”
“My aesthetic is adorably aggressive”
"I'll drink poison if it's Buy One Get One"
"Oh no! Someone erased the piss box!"