FFA of the Day: “what's up my parents just caught me juuling via the doorbell camera”
“I’m just giving you shit, your TikTok clout is fine”
"Whoever tells you they'd rather drink piss than get tased, don't trust them"
"That's why you wait til marriage to send nudes"
"TAIWAN FOREVER BITCH"
"Mix Leprechauns with Dracula and you have the Scottish"
“Flag on the play: Unnecessary dick touching”
“Some of you might think this is easy. Some of you might be brain dead.”
“who the hell let me get through three years of film school without knowing Christopher Walken and Steve Buscemi aren't the same person”
“I’m so far up Elizabeth Warren’s ass and it’s the only place I want to be”
“What button do I need to press to kiss my wife”
“please let me be remembered, above all, as a person who deeply valued personal space”
“Now I know that if you see someone’s car being stolen, you’re just going to think it’s Herby Fully Loaded”
"Is that an Amish?"
"Intense violence, sexual themes. Nice"