A graphic tells students to text 785.260.0518 to submit entries to the Kansan's free for all column

 

FFA of the Day: “Instead of doing anything productive, I watched a 30 minute video about a youtuber whose mom forced her to dress like a doll.”

"I heard someone on the porch, so I'm hoping it's my vibrator."

“It’s 2020, and I’m feeling ‘Eh’ as Hell.”

"I like to stick my head out the window. I drive a convertible; I'm practically a dog."

“There were feet on the dresser, so we just kept them.” 

"Ohhhh this is a TYPE A bitch."

“Sometimes when I’m bored I make my Alexa and Google Home compete to see who can tell better jokes.”

“In middle school, we had a dress code and it was ‘modest’ is ‘hottest.’”

“Chances are if you’re late- a Kansas senator is later.”

"I tend to think about everything in terms of guns.

"I'm gay; I have to love Abba"

“I think Bill Clinton said that once... and maybe Fleetwood Mac”

“I’m a triple major on the dean’s list and can’t spell spaghetti.”

“He was wearing plaid though so I was like...no, but like, maybe?”

“So are we watching Spy Kids or Gerald’s Game?”

“White people's culture is snorting salt for the rush.”

"It doesn't make you a sinner, but it does make you a little shit."