FFA of the day: "I think my parents are about to send me to rehab."
"This is my only class today. And my first one!"
“Car attacks are the number one cause of death”
"I don't have beef, I am beef"
I just started chewing my food to the beat of an Ed Sheeran song and its the most on brand thing I've ever done
i treat university administrators like my favorite presidents: no matter how cool they seem or how much good they do, they’re probably war criminals
"tell all your friends: i'm a broke bitch, will strip for money"
It's 2:30 p.m. and two girls just rolled up next to me and asked for directions to the hawk
I physically cannot count the amount of times I’ve heard the word “bro” in Cap Fed
"It started with Ronald Reagan. That's how it always starts."
"Pretend that you care about this class"
“I wanna do shrooms but like... it’s game day”
“Pepsi is the official water of Kansas”
Taking a workout class is all fun and games until you're walking across campus like a baby horse because you're a weak bitch