Oberthaler: Tongue in Beak
Gobble up your week's dose of satire.
Tuesday, September 16th, 2008
McCain dispels rumors of sexism by surrounding himself with women
To dispel the notion that Republican presidential nominee John McCain picked Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin as his running mate based on her gender, Republican presidential nominee John McCain made an appearance on a TV show targeted directly toward viewers based on their gender.
The women grilled him on issues such as abortion, Palin and why he didn’t give them hugs. In a display of the forceful, journalistic insight that “The View” is known for, a tense moment occurred when Joy Behar told McCain his campaign ads were lies. Overall, though, McCain was met with applause from the audience. Republicans were reassured to know that they can put lipstick on a pig and have it cross its legs and gab it up with the gals.
McCain followed “The View” appearance with a taping of the “Rachael Ray Show,” which will be aired Sept. 22.
McCain referenced the appearance in a later interview: “To ask if Sarah Palin is unqualified to be vice president just because she is raising a family is absolutely ridiculous. Rachael Ray is a parallel example of the power of women’s multitasking. Women are able to cook and talk at the same time! No one would be asking a man that because we don’t cook when a woman is around.”
The appearances were selected to allow McCain to court women voters, based on the level of annoyance of the host’s voice, from a scale of whale tones to Sarah Palin.
When Palin was offered nomination, I didn’t blink for a second, because I can’t
After a hands-off media approach following her nomination, Sarah Palin agreed to a three-part interview series with ABC’s Charles Gibson. Because Palin’s political career is still at its dawn, the ABC interview was a pre-natal test for possible maladies during her vice-presidency for which we have no choice but to endure.
In order to evade criticism from both parties, Gibson needed to seem critical but unbiased, stern yet open-minded. To reassure voters, all Palin had to do was not be herself.
Palin didn’t hesitate for a moment when Gibson asked if she felt ready to be VP: “I feel completely up to the challenge. For instance Charlie, I am really good with names, Charlie. Ahmadinejad, Charlie, I know how to pronounce that, really, Charlie, I do. Putin, Charlie? That’s an easy one. It sounds, Charlie, just like Palin! Charlie, I am really into mnemonic devices for that sort of thing, Charlie.”
Although at times she seemed derailed by unexpected questions, Palin recovered brilliantly from missteps during her interview. When confronted about President Bush’s policies, she guffawed, “The Bush doctrine, Charlie? He probably has a specialist, don’t you think?”
Gibson wisely avoided gossip questions about her husband’s DWI and Palin’s daughter Bristol, but he did ask about her views on global warming, earmark spending and gun control. Palin didn’t give clear answers about the first two issues, but strongly advocated widespread gun usage, looking Charlie firmly in the eye and saying, "I believe every U.S. citizen has the right to shoot themselves in the foot, Charlie, just like I am doing now."
Gibson appeared visibly perturbed during most of the interview, but after three days, the session ended on a pleasant note when Palin powered down and recharged in her iGOP dock.
One of these things is not like the other
What is the difference between a pit bull and a hockey mom?
Lipstick
What is the difference between a pig and a hockey mom?
Lipstick
What is the difference between a polar bear and hockey mom?
One is killing the other.
Oberthaler is a Wichita junior in English.
Discussion
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This satire is just plain bad. Its like an article rejected from the Onion. Also, the reference to the pre-natal test was ridiculously offensive. I think instead of being called "Tongue in Beak" this should be called "Head up *ss."
It sounds to me that the above comments were made by uneducated, freshman conservatives. They obviously have not spent enough time with Webster to accidentally trip on the word "satire."
Like most educated students here at KU, any "pecks" at Palin's beak are welcome.
I'm probably teaching one of your classes.
I cannot believe the audacity of John McCain: trying to appeal to more voters? How dare he! And can you believe the nerve of a Republican presidential candidate choosing a WOMAN who happens to be a pro-life NRA member that wants to open up ANWR just to grab more votes from women?
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