Jorgensen: Bartering for a championship
What would you give for a national title?
A million dollars? A year with your dream girl? Sex? Some Kansas fans would give up anything for an NCAA title.
Wednesday, March 28th, 2007
What would you do for an NCAA basketball title?
I once heard about a poll of male British soccer fans that discovered a large majority of them would rather have their respective team win the Premier League Championship than have one night alone with the woman of their dreams. But what about an entire year?
I would. I would rather Kansas be the NCAA basketball champions than spend an entire year with the woman of my dreams, and she’s hot too. I’ll keep her name my secret, though (hint: she’s a British actress — I’m a sucker for accents).
It’s too late to sacrifice anything to get the championship this year. I’m no longer upset. It was a very successful year. It took a rare occurrence for UCLA to beat Kansas. Coach Bill Self had it right when he said the team overplayed. But hey, life goes on.
However, if you could sacrifice, or do something for a national championship, what would it be? I asked Jayhawk fans that question, and found an array of answers.
Some students wouldn’t give up much. One student said he would rather have a championship than a million dollars. Another said he would give up sex, but drew the line at six months.
While McCarthy debated how much oxygen intake she truly needed, Shawnee senior Nick Sigman jumped into the conversation.
One fan, Andrew Ricke, Rose Hill senior, had an interesting deal he would strike for a national championship.
“I would permanently dye my hair red and entirely avoid all sunlight in order to emulate Matt Kleinmann,” Ricke said.
Devin McCarthy, Overland Park, sophomore, quickly knew what she’d give up.
“I’d give up my car,” she said.
When asked if she would give up a kidney, she hesitated, and then said yes. What about a lung, though?
While McCarthy debated how much oxygen intake she truly needed, Shawnee senior Nick Sigman jumped into the conversation.
“Definitely,” he said. “You only need one.”
Sigman’s loyalty to Kansas basketball was evident.
Then I asked him, “Would you give up your girlfriend?”
He looked vexed. With his head in his hands, he looked up and said, “Yeah, probably.”
Sigman’s answer made me curious — what would his girlfriend, Amy Simms, Hoffman Estate, Ill., senior, say? So, I politely asked Sigman for his girlfriend’s phone number. I later called her to see how much she loved Kansas basketball and if it was more than she loved her boyfriend.
Like Sigman, Simms said she would give up a lung for a championship (too cute). Then it was the moment of truth.
“Would you break up with your boyfriend for a championship?” I asked.
“For a championship, sure. I guess I would,” Simms said nonchalantly. “We could always get back together.”’
“No, it’s either him or the championship,” I said.
“Yeah, I’d still do it,” she said. “It’s a championship!”
There you have it. Jayhawk fans truly love their teams — some maybe even more than they love their significant other. So, if any of you out there are offered a national championship for a kidney, lung, car, boyfriend or girlfriend, do it for the rest of us.
Jorgensen is a Baldwin City senior in journalism.
— Edited by Ryan Schneider
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