Jorgensen: Dancing with the stars
What if Kansas athletics had its own dance competition?
Football coach Mark Mangino gets eliminated in fourth place. Who will win it all?
Wednesday, May 9th, 2007
This is Sports Column: “Dancing with the Stars” edition.
I’ve found that “Dancing with the Stars” is my one guilty pleasure. I remember making fun of the show when it first aired, but then my pride for some of the show’s sports figures kicked it. I got hooked.
I really got into the show last season when ex-Cowboys running back Emmitt Smith defeated Mario Lopez from “Saved by the Bell,” reigniting my fiery hatred of the Dallas Cowboys.
Can you imagine a show where the famous figures in Kansas athletics dress in their finest and flashiest rhinestones and leather and dance competitively?
The sports figures on this show are what make it successful. It’s also what gave me the idea for Dancing with the Stars of Kansas Athletics.
Can you imagine a show where the famous figures in Kansas athletics dress in their finest and flashiest rhinestones and leather and dance competitively? Who would win this competition? I’ve thought about it and I know exactly how it would play out…
Eliminated in fourth place was football coach Mark Mangino. Judge Bruno Tonioli called Mangino’s fox trot a “travesty,” and said his partner Kym Johnson looked like she was herding sheep instead of dancing as she followed him across the floor.
Judge Len Goodman said that Mangino used too much razzle-dazzle when doing his leg kicks and that he should have stuck to the basics. Ultimately, fans did not like Mangino’s diamond-encrusted cane and top hat so he was sent packing.
Basketball player Sherron Collins got the boot after his sketchy back-to-back tango and waltz with his flashy partner, Cheryl Burke. Collins’ demise came when he did an illegal lift and accidentally kicked Burke into the live band. This mishap put Collins and Burke in third place.
Collins regained his composure during the waltz and won over judge Carrie Ann Inaba with his fancy footwork and cunning looks into the camera. However, the sight of Burke flying head-over-feet into the drum set was too much for viewers as Collins was voted off with the lowest rating in show history.
It came down to the final two. Grabbing second place was the duo of men’s basketball coach Bill Self and Karina Smirnoff. Self used his charm and footwork to win over America.
Bruno said Self and Smirnoff’s samba was spicy and passionate; however he ripped the group’s Ramba.
“No one should ever be kicked in the face when doing a high-step,” Bruno yelled at Smirnoff, who caught Self in the chin with her stiletto.
With a landslide first-place victory was the team of women’s basketball coach Bonnie Henrickson and Maksim Chmerkovskiy. All the judges praised Henrickson’s tight movement and elegant dips.
Much of the credit went to Chmerkovskiy who used his sex appeal to woo over the crowd. Chmerkovskiy often threw roses at the camera and “made it rain” as he tossed hundred-dollar bills into the crowd.
There you have it. The winner of the 2007 Dancing with the Stars of Kansas Athletics is Bonnie Henrickson. Congratulations!
Jorgensen is a Baldwin senior in journalism.
— Edited by Stacey Couch
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