Guy 1: Really, I don’t think she’d be mad if I sucked your penis.
Guy 2: I’m not even mad, I’m impressed!
Guy 1: You got to have a big butt hole to put a hamster in there.
Guy 2: It would be elastic.
Guy 1: But a hamster is like this big.
Guy 2: No, a guinea pig is that big.
Guy 1 and 2: …
Guy 1: Do you want me to look it up?
Guy 1: J-Lo is, like, botox ass.
Guy 2: That’s what I want.
Guy 1: You’d probably get chafing from that thing.
Guy: How do you dance and make out? (pauses) You be drunk—I bet that helps.
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