Durbin: Suicide never an answer

Focus should be on prevention

Death is something we all must face. Suicide should never be.

By Chelsea Durbin

Friday, September 14th, 2007

Death is a subject that someday everyone will face. Not only do we all have to accept our own, but a majority of us will be affected with friends and family passing away through the course of time. Often, those deaths leave us with marks, memories, and impacts that are carried with us through life, and sometimes into the lives of others. It is because of those marks, memories, and impacts that I have chosen to write this column; a dedication to those lives.

It is fully understood that the only way to enter this world is through the miracle of birth; however, when looking at exiting, or death, it’s significant to understand that it comes in many forms; one of these ways being suicide.

Recently it has been reported that there is an alarming increase in the amount of teen suicides plaguing this country. In fact, the amount has risen so dramatically, that scientists are slightly baffled at the reason behind the increase. Normally, I would take this news with a grain of salt, and chalk it up to just another statistic. Unfortunately however, over the course of the year I personally have been affected by a number of friends and classmates ending their lives too young.

It is true that very few actions generate as much emotion in family members or friends as suicidal behavior. On average, for every suicide there are six survivors left behind (I find this statistic very conservative) to cope with complex feelings of shock, grief, anger, guilt, and the haunting question of “Why?” Some experts even rank the trauma of losing a loved one to suicide as “catastrophic,” possibly even similar to surviving a concentration camp experience.

Death from suicide is different from others forms because the people we love dearly seem to choose death over life. However, it’s important to understand that in reality the goal of suicide is a release from pain, not a release from life.

On August 31, someone I knew chose to end their life at the tender age of seventeen, and it created an earthquake of emotion that will be felt for decades. As someone who is looking at this from the sidelines, it’s hard for me to comprehend the psychological trauma that led to the end of a truly amazing person. I know a few of the main reasons this person chose suicide over life was due to fact that they felt alone and helpless, but the truth is they were not alone, nor were they helpless. The heart of my article is not to preach about suicide, but to rather make people aware that no matter how alone or helpless you feel, there is always someone who loves, cares, and needs you.

I have watched this suicide not only affect their family and their immediate friends, but an entire community who is now grieving for the loss of a life cut short. I would give anything to show this person the words, the tears, the memories, the photographs, and the impacts they have left not only on my heart, but the worlds.

I leave this column with a few last requests: Live your lives letting the people who are important to you know that you care; love is one of the most important things we have. If someone you know is depressed, please talk to them and encourage them to get help if it’s needed. And last but not least, remember those who have lost their lives to suicide, because as a survivor of suicide, Norman Cousins says, “Death is not greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.”

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