No sex is good sex
Abstinence provides perfect protection from babies, STDs
It’s hard to ignore sex as a college student, and often virginity is not the “in” thing. Some students do chose abstinence, though, and have their own reasons why.
Friday, September 21st, 2007
College is the four-year “joyride” that sometimes turns out to be a little longer than expected. Movies like “Van Wilder” have immortalized the ideal university lifestyle: wild parties, crazy antics, alcohol and of course, sex.
Students are beset by the sexuality of today’s world. University health programs and various clubs can be found handing out condoms and lube on campus. Sex is in movies, advertisements and TV shows.
The pursuit of sex usually begins in high school, and in some cases even earlier. But at the college level, sex is not just common, it’s almost expected, whether it’s a one-night stand or part of a serious relationship.
People seem ashamed to acknowledge they are still virgins. One KU student asked that her name be left out of this article after admitting it.
The definition of abstinence is debatable: is abstinence simply a means to prevent pregnancy, or is it also a means to avoid obtaining sexually transmitted diseases?
I don’t think there’s an invisible man in the sky who hates sex.
-Brett Turner, Overland Park junior
According to the Centers for Disease Control, abstinence is to abstain from vaginal, anal and oral sex. According to the Alan Guttmacher Institute, oral sex still puts one at risk for HIV and other STDs, and anal sex actually increases that risk.
Some people choose to wait to have sex for fear of STDs. For others, there are spiritual and religious reasons.
Brett Turner, Overland Park junior, said he thought people should just wait until they are emotionally ready for sex.
“I don’t think there’s an invisible man in the sky who hates sex,” Turner said.
Leeta Thiessen, Fayetteville, Ark., junior, said abstaining from sex was a measure of self-discipline.
“It’s easy to become addicted to things,” Thiessen said. “[Abstinence is] my way of controlling myself and doing what I want to do.”
Some students said losing virginity to the right person was important. Kylie Fernandez, Olathe junior, has been with her boyfriend for four years and has no regrets of having a sexual relationship with him.
“Not that our relationship is based on sex, but it has brought us closer,” Fernandez said. “If we didn’t have that kind of relationship and trust, we probably wouldn’t still be together.”
The decision to have sex should be a personal decision, but people need others and need to feel like they belong. In a 1985 study, Ellen Berscheid showed that most people will name the people closest to them — friends, romantic partners and family — as who makes their lives complete. A 2002 study by Ed Diener and Martin Seligman showed that college students listed close relationships as more satisfying than money. It is, however, up to the individual to determine what sort of relationships those are, platonic or romantic. So even amidst all the “Van Wilders” out there, a student’s “ideal” college lifestyle does not have to include sex.
—Edited by Chris Beattie
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