The college transition
Schoolwork, bars, sex after high school
As students step into the college scene, schoolwork, bars and relationships take new meaning.
By Alex Dufek (Contact)
Friday, September 21st, 2007
As students make the jump from high school to college, a new dating scene faces them. Despite the hype of more people, parties and alcohol, dating in college is not any more exciting than in high school.
Franklin Fantini, Lawrence junior, said minor changes in sex and dating occur as students move on to college, but the two are mostly the same, just different ages.
However, there are apparent differences. College offers more people, house parties and a busy bar scene all week long, opposed to high school where there are the same people in the same building every day and parents must skip town in order to throw a party.
“In college, it’s a catalyst because of the bars,” Fantini said. “You can meet a lot of people, and you have all these classes all over the place and there are tons of people all over the place.”
Laura Edwards, Leawood sophomore, said that it has been more difficult for her to meet good, nice guys because she lived in an all-girl dorm last year and she currently lives in a sorority house.
Students suggested meeting people through organizations and classes but said that bars and house parties may not be the best place to meet people if interested in starting a relationship.
High school was a lot more conservative, and then at KU, or colleges in general, things get quite a bit more liberal and progressive.
-Kristin Cowan, Wichita junior
“I think it’s really funny how a lot of my friends will go to Neon or go to parties and get all dressed up and think that tonight’s the night that you’ll meet somebody. But when you think about it, you’re drunk and everybody else is drunk and your not really going to make anything lasting,” said Kristin Cowan, Wichita junior.
The focus on serious relationships dies down for some in college because of the wide selection of people to choose from. “There’s so many people around that I don’t really see the benefits of having to be with one person,” Cowan said.
Fantini agreed that while the enthusiasm for long-term relationships may deteriorate in some students, hormones don’t.
“It’s easier to meet people because you’re drunk, but at the same time it’s also easy just to be really horny when you’re drunk,” Fantini said. “You just want to meet somebody to get laid, or whatever.”
As supervision decreases from high school to college, the physical pace of a relationship increases. Students are able to pick up people and take them back to their places, not their parents’.
“Having places without parents is definitely a factor in college. I think it means the physical pace moves a lot faster,” Cowan said.
The stronger moral beliefs of high school students are often loosened by college’s progressive structure.
“High school was a lot more conservative, and then at KU, or colleges in general, things get quite a bit more liberal and progressive,” Cowan said.
As age increases, many students move past their first serious relationships and the necessity to spend all their time with one person decreases.
“When I was in a relationship at the end of high school, it was like, ‘Sweet, I’m in a relationship’ and that’s all I could think about, that’s all I did,” Fantini said.
Making time for homework and other extracurricular activities are also a factor on students’ decisions for dating. As students study for their professions rather than the required classes of high school, they apply more focus towards schoolwork.
“In college it’s kind of like, ‘I’m in college to be in college,’ ” Fantini said. “I’d like to meet some girls, and it sounds kind of stupid, but I’d also like to get my homework and other stuff done.”
While busy schedules discourage some students from committing long-term, others don’t mind facing the challenges. Will Fernholz, Overland Park sophomore, said that although his girlfriend from high school attends a different university, they are still together.
“When I came down here, it was something so brand new for me to have to be away from my girlfriend. I got hit with not only a lot of homework, but also a lot of fun things that I want to be doing, and you have to find a way to make time for your relationship as well,” Fernholz said.
In the end, dating in college, like high school, is what the individual makes of it. The added pressures of college and increasing physical pace affect, but do not determine, one’s experience.
— Edited by Meghan Murphy
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