Friday, July 4th, 2008

Minster: McCain’s blundering demonstrates effective PR

When faced with allegations of impropriety, McCain feels it’s easier to ban the talking than to stop being improper.

By Brandon Minster

Monday, February 25th, 2008

It’s hard work being John McCain. It seems every time he turns around there’s another shady character trying to stuff money in his pocket. I wish I had McCain’s problem, but the closest I ever got was a guy in a community college parking lot trying to sell me a VIP pass to a new strip club. I guess not everyone can be a war hero.

It’s like McCain lives in a comedy of errors, where he finds himself face-to-face with a rich guy in awkward moment, so he compliments him on his money, just to have something to say. The rich guy says, “Oh, do you want some?”

“No, thank you. That’s okay.”

“Come on, take it.”

“Oh, I couldn’t.”

“You must. I insist.”

“You insist? Well, now that you’ve put it that way, I guess I have to.” And he walks out with his pockets bulging with cash. Like I said, it’s hard work.

John McCain supports campaign finance reform more adamantly than any other politician because no other politician needs campaign finance reform more than John McCain. He’s found his way to the center of an impressive number of congressional financial scandals.

First came his days as a member of the Keating Five, a group of senators accused of corruption in 1989, taking millions in campaign contributions from banker Charles Keating while pressuring regulators to back off the oversight of Keating’s failing savings and loan. Keating and McCain’s wife were business partners, but McCain didn’t see a conflict of interest because his prenuptial agreement divided their assets. Evidently every dinner out for the McCain’s is a Dutch date.

Last week we had his flat denial of ever having met Bud Paxson, despite Paxson’s memory of meeting McCain in the senator’s office. McCain says he never spoke with Paxson or any of his associates. However, he used Paxson’s personal jet, took his campaign contributions and then just happened to write two letters urging the FCC to take speedy action on a Paxson business deal. If McCain is wondering why people have been quick to believe these allegations, it might be because they’ve heard this one before.

Now McCain denies he posted his eligibility for federal election funds as collateral for a loan, insisting that the real collateral was the idea that he might someday in the future post the federal matching funds. I’d like to say I can personally vouch for the ease of securing million-dollar bank loans on the promise of an idea, but again, I’ve just never experienced many of the hardships of the senator’s career.

For instance, I’ve never had issue ads mention me by name within 30 days of a primary election or 60 days of a general election, and now, thanks to McCain, I never will. I’m sure that was rough for the senator, having members of the public talk about him before an election. I mean, that might end up effecting the outcome. Luckily, the Constitution has absolutely no provisions about whether or not Congress can make a law respecting speech. (The Bill of Rights might have said something about it, but it belongs to Omnitouch now.)

McCain is like the “good girl” who sleeps over at a different guys house every night and then can’t understand how she got a reputation as a “bad girl.” But when faced with allegations of impropriety, McCain feels it’s easier to ban the talking than to stop being improper. Because, when you’re John McCain, ending the impropriety is the hardest part of it all.

Minster is a Lawrence senior in economics.

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