Goble: Every dog has its day, even if the media don’t recognize it
This particular story symbolized a defiant victory for the average American, a triumphant fist in the air for our blue-collar, beer-swilling country.
By Corban Goble (Contact)
Wednesday, February 27th, 2008
You really blew it this time, worldwide media. What you did (or didn’t do) is deplorable.
Shame on you, Fox News.
Nice going, CNN.
Pathetic, Current.tv.
Not even an inch of print, The Economist? None of these “respected” media giants ran with the most inspiring news story of our generation. This particular story symbolized a defiant victory for the average American, a triumphant fist in the air for our blue-collar, beer-swilling country.
I’m referring to the Uno the Beagle’s cataclysmic Best-Of-Show performance at this year’s Westminster Dog Show, of course.
Sure, there’s been some serious press devoted to the story already, but I chalk that up to the hegemonic power of the American Kennel Club.
Imagine if the Chicago Cubs won the World Series this year. The stack of the press clippings would outweigh an average Leon Uris novel.
Although the Cubs’ Series drought often is exemplified as one of the longest-lasting losing streaks of our era, a beagle hadn’t won the nation’s top dog show in more than 130 years.
The last time a beagle won, you couldn’t get on the phone to tell your friends because the phone wasn’t invented yet. The President? Ulysses S. Grant. The favored mode of transportation? Horse.
I’d like to take a moment to lambast the media outlets that haven’t covered this wonderful story with enough scope, perspective or intelligence.
When Uno trotted onto that Astroturf, innumerable odds stood between him and this great honor.
The skeletal glare of the poodles, both Toy and Standard breeds, judgementally traced Uno’s steps.
However, none of this mattered to Uno, who flippantly shed the shackles of beagledom.
Also, he bayed at the judge, a clear shoutout to his like-minded beagle homies across our nation.
I realize there’s a war on, and due journalistic diligence should be pointed in that direction.
That’s fine with me.
Also, I know this nation of corporate-merger housewives and Miley Cyrus-deifying adolescent girls crave their Britney fixes, and I’ll even grant that.
But America witnessed the birth of a great hero that can lead us into our next golden age, a hero that can relate with the masses. He can take sprawling leaps at catered steaks one moment and win a giant purple ribbon the next.
Is there anything this dog can’t do? No.
The tide of the future relies on this brown-headed pooch, who, without any need for argument, is the greatest single life form to ever come out of Missouri.
How do I know that?
Uno received a standing ovation at Madison Square Garden, something that hasn’t happened much since Willis Reed hung ‘em up.
This demonstration of arena-wide approval exhibits the magnetism this hound has. Charisma — you can’t just wave a doggie biscuit over a wet nose and get charisma.
You’ve probably seen Uno while scanning through most mainstream newspapers, broad-interest magazines and watching the last 10 minutes of your local news.
That’s not enough. We need to lionize this canine to an extent where we can finally replace the word “lionize” with a superior dog equivalent. “Uno-ize” or creation of the verb “to beagle” are my suggestions.
In the future, when I see a hero do something great, I want it to be covered in every conceivable fashion. Until the future comes where we all will have TiVo-like newspapers that filter out the stuff we don’t want to read (i.e. any story about Bono), we must rely on the media stream to cover the important issues.
I would call this Uno business the quintessential “important” issue.
A hound dog, a veritable everyman, came to New York City and clobbered the competition.
Imagine if your dad won the Masters. That’s what this is like.
Plus, he’s way cooler than Barbaro.
Goble is a Mission Hills senior in English and economics.
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