Make the important issue — whites separated from darks — key in the coming election
By Nick Mangiaracina (Contact)
Friday, January 25th, 2008
With a mere nine-and-a-half months remaining, the 2008 presidential election is heating up. In the past few chilly months, candidates have focused their campaigns to let the American people know where they stand.
For instance, Hillary Clinton’s epic health care plan now vows to cover all Americans, while Mike Huckabee is committed to improving marriage by reducing the number of divorces.
Likewise, both Republican and Democratic candidates have not shied from controversial issues. Each party has dealt with important questions like: Was the fossil record faked? Will teenagers survive in the global economy as Mexican immigrants take their abhorred low-paying jobs with no benefits?
Also, should the government be abolished because of bureaucratic red tape? Or, is the annihilation of the human race in a few generations because of climate change something to be concerned about right now?
However, these are only a few of the compelling issues unfolding on the rocky road to November 2008. Before then, a more important issue must be dealt with, for if it is neglected it only shows that Americans don’t care about the most important issues facing this country.
This ultra-important issue is that of the desegregation of laundry.
For decades, white and colored articles of clothing have remained separate in the name of combating lint. Socks and shirts alike have been designated for separate piles for separate loads. It’s time now for this apartheid system to end. What kind of message does this send to our children?
I envision a better day for laundry across America—and a better day for businessmen and soccer moms alike.
The government’s complicity in allowing this policy to continue only reinforces how broken the system is. Top economists are predicting an economic slowdown, but we can prove them wrong.
More lint means more lint rollers, and with more lint rollers come more jobs. I dream of an America where teenagers can serve their country proud in the manufacture of such rollers. We can only rely on the Chinese for so much.
If the economy slows down, jobs will be lost. You will no longer be able to work hard to “put food on your family,” in the words of our great president.
I urge all of you now to petition Congress for the abolition of laundry segregation. In fact, to show your seriousness, I urge all of you to send two petitions — in case Congress ignores the first or uses it as a napkin. They can’t keep wiping their mouths with our democracy.
We must stand up against the tyrannical idea that says blouses and socks and jeans and t-shirts must be washed separately.
Oh, and don’t let them laugh you off. Remember, the most important issues are the ones that seem the most ridiculous ones at first.
Mangiaracina is a Lenexa senior in journalism.

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