Religions relate pre-marital sex with emotional emptiness
Islam, Catholicism and Judaism may have different doctrine, but all agree on waiting until marriage for sex.
Friday, July 18th, 2008
Katy Cortese said if you’re not going to play the game, you shouldn’t warm up. But Cortese, Des Moines, Iowa senior, isn’t talking about playing a ball game of any kind. In fact, she’s not playing with any balls at all. Katy is waiting until her marriage in October to have sex. Even fooling around crosses the line for her, although she admits it can be a struggle to wait.
“The Church is merciful, so they won’t condemn anyone,” Cortese said. “But all of my friends recognize the importance of saving sex until marriage.”
As a Catholic, Cortese said she believed that sex before marriage wasn’t a true reflection of the Holy Trinity, and that was why it wasn’t right. She said that outside of marriage, people always hold something back, whether it’s financial, emotional or physical and three months from now, she would experience a beautiful thing.
Of the three major religions represented on campus, Christian, Muslim and Jewish, all echo similar sentiments to Cortese’s beliefs. Although some religions preach a doctrine about sex that is rigidly based on rules, others are less condemning, but all state that sex is not a purely physical act to be enjoyed without consequence.
Rabbi Zalman Tiechtel, co-director of KU Chabad Jewish Center, said that the message he shared with students was that physical intimacy could be a tremendous spiritual force, if it was harnessed properly.
“People concentrate on the physical component in the act of sex and the emotional spiritual component is neglected,” Tiechtel said. “Therefore the feeling that results is one of emptiness.”
Tiechtel said that young people often confused the means with the end, thinking that someone would care about them and cure loneliness if they had sex. He said that by ignoring the spiritual element of intercourse, a person wouldn’t feel whole.
“Sex is something that can bring a person out of themselves, out of their ego, to focus on the concerns of another,” Tiechtel said. “People crave intimacy to satisfy central emotional needs.”
In Islam, sex is recognized as a biological act that all humans do, just like eating, drinking and sleeping. Having sex before marriage is considered a major sin.
“God knows sex is a desire and it can be heard to control yourself,” said Barakat Makrami, assistant director of the Islamic center of Lawrence. “That’s why males and females don’t interact at parties and why women wear a veil and men are expected to cover certain areas, too. It’s a way to help them not to have sex before they get married.”
Makrami said that after marriage, a Muslim could do almost anything they pleased, but indulging every sexual want beforehand was acting like an animal who had no self-control. Makrami said that if a person was having pre-marital sex, they should stop doing it, repent to God and not do it again. But ultimately, he said, it was a choice between them and their maker.
“Some guys have girlfriends, but they don’t show their relationships because Muslim society sees this as a bad thing,” Makrami said. “So Islam doesn’t hold everybody back, but it is successful in planting a seed in their heart.”
- Edited by Rebekah Scaperlanda
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