Girl: Chemistry is like a game.
Guy: Yeah. A game that makes me want to hurt myself.
Girl: He told me I was playing hard-to-get, and I wanted to tell him, no, I was playing try-not-to-puke-and-pass-out.
Guy: My balls itch.
Girl: Want me to scratch them for you?
Professor: I want you to do me.
Guy 1: Did you watch the debate last night?
Guy 2: No. I was too busy watching Jimmy Kimmel “I’m Fucking Ben Affleck” on YouTube.
Girl 1: It’s so weird that we’re a football school instead of a basketball school now.
Girl 2: I know. I hate football. It’s cold.
Girl 1: I got so drunk last night.
Girl 2: Yeah.
Girl 1: We should do it again tonight.
Girl 2: Yeah.
Girl 1: And tomorrow night.
Girl 2: Yeah.
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