Selling the Constitution for $21
Published on Tue., October 7th, 2008
How much is the U.S. Constitution worth? Not quite $21, by eBay’s gauge on a listing last week.
Andrew Gray, a KU alumnus, said he originally decided to list the Constitution because he was disgusted with the $700 billion bailout and other actions of the government and wanted to find a way to express his opinion.
“The listing has provoked phenomenal and positive responses,” Gray said. “Apparently, I hit a couple thousand nerves, and it has made me feel better as an American.”
Gray said he assumed he would get some laughs from his friends and that would be the end of it. But the next morning, Gray’s “Constitution” had 300 hits with responses from as far away as England.
Gray said he discussed government issues with friends, which led him to post the satirical listing.
“My friends and I were talking about which amendments have been abused the most,” Gray said. “We thought about the Fifth and the 10th, but then I also thought about the Fourth and how it relates to your right to be left alone and determine your own destiny.”
The following is a description of Gray’s U.S. Constitution listing:
“America is having a fire sale! We’ve dusted off all our old documents we’re not using anymore and this includes the U.S. Constitution. Due to the forced bailouts of private companies by the U.S. taxpayer we can no longer afford the storage of our documents. Our loss can be your gain!
Written in 1787 and drafted mainly by James Madison it is now only on display as a quaint relic. Notice the detailed handwriting presenting the noble concepts conveniently ignored by the Federal government. Use it as a patch to block cold wind from blowing in! Have it be a conversational piece in your home! Use it as a bookmark! Don’t like the Tenth Amendment? Forget about it and write your own! The possibilities are literally endless. Act now and we will throw in the Federalist Papers for free! Shipping is free! No refunds and no returns. Trust us, we don’t use it anymore! Please pay in EUROS only since the dollar will soon be worthless. Or an alternate method using the Biblical bartering system. Goats accepted.”
Gray said when listing the fake Constitution, he modeled the listing on the writing style of Jonathan Swift, who wrote “A Modest Proposal,” an essay considered to be one of the best examples of irony.
The listing was bought by a resident of the United Kingdom.
“It’s despairing to know that the U.S. Constitution is only worth that much. And to be bought by someone in the United Kingdom, to boot,” Gray said.
Allison Koehn, McPherson junior and political science major, said a fine line divided the satirical and the serious.
“I think it definitely works to grab the attention of students,” Koehn said. “‘The Daily Show,’ ‘The Colbert Report,’ those shows have all worked to get the attention of young people.”
But, Koehn said, satire like Gray’s couldn’t be interpreted as being true all the time.
“As long as people realize he’s just someone trying to express his frustration, it’s not something to get overly worked up about,” Koehn said.
Gray said after posting the listing, six different Web sites picked it up, including digg.com, as well as radio stations in Topeka.
“Satire is the best way to provoke thought,” Gray said.
He said he thought eBay would have taken it down within an hour. Instead, more than 2,800 people visited the listing before it sold.
Gray said he jokingly told the buyer not to pay him actual money, but rather with Euros or goats — which he said might soon be more valuable than the U.S. dollar. He said he planned to print an online version of the Constitution and send it to the buyer.
“I planned on signing the back John ‘Big Daddy’ Hancock,” Gray said.
Donald Worster, professor of American history, said statements like Gray’s have not been uncommon. In the Civil War era, he said, those fighting against slavery in the South sometimes burned copies of the Constitution in protest.
“The very Constitution he mocks gives him the freedom of speech to do such a thing,” Worster said.
Worster said that he shared the same opinion as Gray. It has not been unheard of for politicians to abuse power and the Constitution, he said. Worster said the Constitution must be left open for interpretation.
“The Constitution shouldn’t be considered religious,” Worster said. “It wasn’t written by the hand of God — it was written by man and can’t be treated as a holy and sacred document.”
Gray said he had no plans to list anything else on eBay, but he joked that some parts of the United States could still be sold.
“I was driving past Yellowstone National Park the other day and thought to myself, ‘Wow, that’s God’s best handiwork — I could make a shitload off of that.’”
— Edited by Lauren Keith
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